Post by Lucas on Mar 8, 2022 15:07:43 GMT -5
I have little fondness for all of this. Even though I fully embrace being the villain of the piece there are things which bothered me then and bother me today. Most of those types of wounds are of the mostly self inflicted variety. It's never fun to recognize that.
I have a number of friends from the ORG community and some particularly strong ones because of the Survivor-Central games. In Survivor Tonga, under my better known alias Tenzil, I met Jenne. For some time I and others had tried to cajole her into playing again. At some point she told me she was applying to Survivor Holidays and I knew instantly this was my chance. When I went to apply, however, I chose not to do it as Tenzil because it carries a sort of baggage that I don't particularly like. Its not unfair but I want to go into an ORG without worrying about what people might find. (I, of course, have no issue with this in All Star type games where it is sort of The Point.) I wasn't certain, however, if I wanted to reveal myself to her. I originally considered staying undercover to see if we would gravitate to one another.
Unfortunately for me I had chosen an obscure alias that I had used in one prior game and by coincidence one person who knew that alias was in this game. That person was Elizabeth/Ashlee and it was an issue I had to deal with sooner rather then later. My thinking was that if she knew secret there was a chance of it leaking out and getting back to Jenne. It wouldn't have been that great if others found out but I was protective of my friendshup with Jenne and I never ever wanted to do anything that might upset her. So I very much did not want that to happen. So very very early on I told her the truth. Between applying and that it also came to be seen that I also knew Annette, Taylor, and Beth/Gracie. Initially I kept my secret from Taylor since the less he knew the better for me. I had gotten along with him reasonably well in another ORG but he also plays very transparently and is also a bit too confrontational at times. I wasn't very well acquainted with Annette but I assumed she would remember me; many of my hosts have found me, uh, colourful. But I did tell Beth because despite many road bumps in the ORG side of our friendship I knew she would stick with me as long as possible.
In retrospect I should have gambled that Elizabeth/Ashlee would have forgotten my previous alias. She played a lot of games and talked to tons of people and I'm not sure she would have remembered she didn't always know me as Tenzil. I probably could have talked my way out of any issue if she did confront me or ask me. She tends to see me as a valuable ally. For a time I saw her as one as well but after a number of ORGs I can say it's a one way street. But at the time I didn't recognize that she was never allied in the fullest heaviest sense of that word. So I made a very poor decision in pushing Jenne and Beth to bring her in as a fourth. My defense has always been my concerns about my alias and I wanted her to know why she could trust Gracie. I more or less ran roughshod over her objections.
With the first challenge I won and assumed I would be picking tribes. I did think about it a lot even before the challenge. I came up with a lot of scenarios to keep as many people safe as I could without being obvious. However we were divided into men vs women so I was immediately separated from my allies. At the beginning I tried very hard to look active but unthreatening. And its hard to say but I don't think if we had gone to tribal council first I would have been a target. I don't think I would have gotten any votes. But I would more or less blow up my game soon enough.
Obviously I had nothing to do with saving Jenne. She was a target at the beginning but her personality is A+ and she easily assimilated with a number of her tribe. I had no role in her survival. All I could do was leave her name out of conversations. She needed me a lot less then I needed her. Her early absence didn't keep her completely out of the spotlight and a few equally passive somewhat inactive members tried to get votes for her. In some ways this was the real first domino to fall for a Beth/Gracie victory.
In regards to Lisa I don't have much to say. I've played with her several times now and I can still count the number of chats we've had on two fingers. There's no rule that you need to be a paranoid babysitter like me wasting my life on an ORG but I would also say you need to be relatively social. I've seen games where people have a similar amount of activity like Lisa and still win but my experience is that those games are usually quite poor. I'm sure she's lovely in real life offline but several years later and all I really know for sure about her is her name.
I have a number of friends from the ORG community and some particularly strong ones because of the Survivor-Central games. In Survivor Tonga, under my better known alias Tenzil, I met Jenne. For some time I and others had tried to cajole her into playing again. At some point she told me she was applying to Survivor Holidays and I knew instantly this was my chance. When I went to apply, however, I chose not to do it as Tenzil because it carries a sort of baggage that I don't particularly like. Its not unfair but I want to go into an ORG without worrying about what people might find. (I, of course, have no issue with this in All Star type games where it is sort of The Point.) I wasn't certain, however, if I wanted to reveal myself to her. I originally considered staying undercover to see if we would gravitate to one another.
Unfortunately for me I had chosen an obscure alias that I had used in one prior game and by coincidence one person who knew that alias was in this game. That person was Elizabeth/Ashlee and it was an issue I had to deal with sooner rather then later. My thinking was that if she knew secret there was a chance of it leaking out and getting back to Jenne. It wouldn't have been that great if others found out but I was protective of my friendshup with Jenne and I never ever wanted to do anything that might upset her. So I very much did not want that to happen. So very very early on I told her the truth. Between applying and that it also came to be seen that I also knew Annette, Taylor, and Beth/Gracie. Initially I kept my secret from Taylor since the less he knew the better for me. I had gotten along with him reasonably well in another ORG but he also plays very transparently and is also a bit too confrontational at times. I wasn't very well acquainted with Annette but I assumed she would remember me; many of my hosts have found me, uh, colourful. But I did tell Beth because despite many road bumps in the ORG side of our friendship I knew she would stick with me as long as possible.
In retrospect I should have gambled that Elizabeth/Ashlee would have forgotten my previous alias. She played a lot of games and talked to tons of people and I'm not sure she would have remembered she didn't always know me as Tenzil. I probably could have talked my way out of any issue if she did confront me or ask me. She tends to see me as a valuable ally. For a time I saw her as one as well but after a number of ORGs I can say it's a one way street. But at the time I didn't recognize that she was never allied in the fullest heaviest sense of that word. So I made a very poor decision in pushing Jenne and Beth to bring her in as a fourth. My defense has always been my concerns about my alias and I wanted her to know why she could trust Gracie. I more or less ran roughshod over her objections.
With the first challenge I won and assumed I would be picking tribes. I did think about it a lot even before the challenge. I came up with a lot of scenarios to keep as many people safe as I could without being obvious. However we were divided into men vs women so I was immediately separated from my allies. At the beginning I tried very hard to look active but unthreatening. And its hard to say but I don't think if we had gone to tribal council first I would have been a target. I don't think I would have gotten any votes. But I would more or less blow up my game soon enough.
Obviously I had nothing to do with saving Jenne. She was a target at the beginning but her personality is A+ and she easily assimilated with a number of her tribe. I had no role in her survival. All I could do was leave her name out of conversations. She needed me a lot less then I needed her. Her early absence didn't keep her completely out of the spotlight and a few equally passive somewhat inactive members tried to get votes for her. In some ways this was the real first domino to fall for a Beth/Gracie victory.
In regards to Lisa I don't have much to say. I've played with her several times now and I can still count the number of chats we've had on two fingers. There's no rule that you need to be a paranoid babysitter like me wasting my life on an ORG but I would also say you need to be relatively social. I've seen games where people have a similar amount of activity like Lisa and still win but my experience is that those games are usually quite poor. I'm sure she's lovely in real life offline but several years later and all I really know for sure about her is her name.