Converation: JENNEZienna: Alright, you're a girl, and like me.. according to others, so I need to ask for your advice/opinion, lol
Zienna: I dunno who else to go to ::laughs::
JenneUCSC: is it about boys?
Zienna: (not game related)
Zienna: YES!
JenneUCSC: i love boy questions!!!
Zienna: I knew I liked you! ::laugh::
Zienna: Ok, lemme type out the problem real quick.
JenneUCSC: lol
JenneUCSC: *edge of seat*
Zienna: So.. I've been dating this kid for about 3 months now, and he's really nice and would make great best friend material, but since the death of my father he hasn't been very supportive and I've been distancing myself looking for more supportive friends in the process (I was a Daddy's girl
).
Zienna: Anyways.. my friend Matt and I started hanging out again - he was my ex boyfriend / best friend from like 7th grade through High School.. Apparently his girlfriend dumped him before she left for Ireland.. his girlfriend of 4 years (the one I got dumped for). I've always felt like I never got to close the chapter of that relationship, and yes.. I still have a crush for him ,lol. Well I introduced him - quite innocently - to my best friend, Kirsten.. and he got a crush. She "says"s she doesn't like him like that.. but they're going out to dinner.. and asked me - as an afterthought - to join them. I told Matt to screw that, I wasn't going to play third wheel. And now I'm seething with jealosuy, grr. He'll have seen her more times in this past month than he's seen me in the past year!
JenneUCSC: ok i havnt read the 2nd part. but you lost your daddy?! i am soooo sorry. i would be devastated w/o mine. losing a parent...pulls the rug out
Zienna: Yeah, it was really difficult. It happened Christmas night. But he's been sick for 5 years, I just really thought he had a chance to be better for once, and apparently it just wasn't mean to be.
JenneUCSC: oh crap. holidays just make it worse. i am truly sorry for that loss. its one of the biggest that can happen
JenneUCSC: and boy trouble on top of all of it! 2005 rocky start!
Zienna: Thanks, I'm just having serious problems coping, so every now and again I need a friend to listen to me. 2005 deffinately is off to a rock start. The boy wouldn't come to the funeral, which also upset me. I was very lucky that my friends were home for break or else I might've been without some of the closest people in my life!
JenneUCSC: people to depend on is the only thing that gets you thru it. are you close at all with your mom?/
Zienna: Very, I was a Daddy's girl, but my mom and I were close' cause I'm an only child. I have a dog too, heh.
JenneUCSC: my best friend lost both her parents and her lil sister in a car accident my frosh yr of HS so ive been thru this process withher
JenneUCSC: *hugs*
Zienna: Oh that's so horrible!
JenneUCSC: anyways a boy who isnt there for you when you need him isnt worth having around
JenneUCSC: if they just want the good stuff and none of the bad they are worthless and wont last long
Zienna: I couldn't imagine loosing both of them, or a sibling - should I have one. I'm jus so lucky that with my mother comes a veryu very strong loving Greek family (large in other words), and my dad'sw as the same. So I'm lucky for that.
JenneUCSC: i saw the greek wedding movie. lol
JenneUCSC: i come from a great family. where i get most my strength in life
Zienna: Gah, we are wicked similar, lo.
JenneUCSC: you are east coast gal yah?
Zienna: Yes ma'am.
Zienna: Boston
JenneUCSC: well we are where the east meets the west then i suppose
Zienna: ::laughs:: There ya go.
JenneUCSC: so what advice/opinion did you need? on the old guy or the current one?
Zienna: Both! lol
JenneUCSC: like i said before bout the current dude, unless the sex is great, he's not a long term dude
JenneUCSC: someone who is emotionally invested is there when you need them
Zienna: No sex either.
JenneUCSC: if my bf didnt show up to my fathers funeral that would be the end of it.
JenneUCSC: no sex? oh jeeez
JenneUCSC: no support. no sex. what does he provide?
Zienna: Beats me.
Zienna: I was really surprised by the lack of support.. cause he's genuinly sweet.
JenneUCSC: you know what is likely then...some people dont handle this stuff well
Zienna: True.
JenneUCSC: im one of those people that is great when somone i love is in crisis. im there for them however they need me
JenneUCSC: but some people get freaked out. dont know what to say. and hide cower in fear
Zienna: Which I realized before. But even so.. its been difficult. And all he can talk about is how AWFUL his classes are. AndI'm sitting here like "Uh, lost my father". My other friend Kirsten is doing similar things, complaining about how her Christmas sucked because her parentes drank with her.. and I'm sitting there thinking "my dad died on Christmas"
JenneUCSC: some people are insensitive
JenneUCSC: we are all different on this planet
JenneUCSC: some are better with this stuff than others
JenneUCSC: have you tried to talk to them bout your feelings?
Zienna: I tried with Jim, he sits.. listens.. and two seconds later is talking about some new video game he's interested in. Kirsten.. I tried, and she's all sweet and hugging and I'm-so-sorry-what-can-I-do.. but in this situation I can't tell someone what I need, its almost instinctive. Which sucks because a different ex is being the most helpful but he's on your side of the country!
JenneUCSC: oh my!
JenneUCSC: just pull in your support net. im sure if you are like me you have plenty who love you. dont be afraid to ask for help when you need it. most people are very willing if only given the opportunity
Zienna: I'm not, its just difficult because I transferred to this school last term and got a month late start on making friends becuase I ended up switching rooms (my first roommate was horrid). So my support net is all over the country, lol. I guess that I can get over Kirsten and Jim being insensitive and unhelpful, but what stings is the other problem.. Kirsten and Matt, LOL
JenneUCSC: well thats lame to begin with. i have a firm rule i never go where any friend has been
JenneUCSC: keeps things clean
Zienna: Damn, why can't you be here instead of her?
Zienna: I haven't told her that I never had an "end" with him.. because he broke up with me over the phone and I never really got closure.. but still! She can totally see the way I act around him.
JenneUCSC: i am the closure queen. it is my specialty
JenneUCSC: you know if they hit it off its too late to do anything. if you had gone to her and told her you had unresolved feelings would she have backed off?
Zienna: I've always had time to MAKE closure. lol, that was the first.
Zienna: She claims she's not into him like that. I sure hope so, but it's frustrating, because I don't want to tell her because she has a big mouth.
JenneUCSC: what a friend!
Zienna: Basically she's been using me to expand her network of friends. Because of my father I'm really not going out much, but when I do its with one ore two friends I havne't seen for a hwile and her. And she always leechesonto them. And then I become third wheel and out of the picture.
JenneUCSC: ouch
JenneUCSC: she;s a social climber
Zienna: Basically.
JenneUCSC: well it is my belief that our well being is reliant on the quality of those we keep our time iwth
JenneUCSC: feeling used never feels good
Zienna: You're so ver helpful, lol. I'm glad you came to me yesturday
JenneUCSC: me too!
JenneUCSC: you seemed the right place to go at the time. and for some reason i was right!
Zienna: Yes ma'am
JenneUCSC: honestly this is what i get the most satisfaction doing. supporting people and all that. i really like helping people. when i was in HS i wished i could grow up and just volunteer places. i didnt want a job. i just wanted to help. i was a big carebears fan growing up. can you tell?
Zienna: ::laughs:: Most certainly. I was the social coordinator. lol
Zienna: brb, gonna get to makin' dinner, shouldn't be long
JenneUCSC: ok. i need to work here while at work anyways
).