Chats 2-26-05

[Taylor]

maroonedcastaway: hi
SurvivorGracie: you're back
maroonedcastaway: WHAY HAPPENED TO VOTING LUCAS?
maroonedcastaway: WHAT*
SurvivorGracie: I just couldn't do it
SurvivorGracie: neither could Jenne
maroonedcastaway: so you changed after I left and you told me it was him
maroonedcastaway: now I look like the asshole
SurvivorGracie: nooooooooo
maroonedcastaway: thanks
SurvivorGracie: let me explain
SurvivorGracie: for one lucas totally understands that you voted him
SurvivorGracie: and I never would want you to look bad
SurvivorGracie: but I just couldn't do it
SurvivorGracie: I knew you'd be pissed at me
maroonedcastaway: Well I am a little
SurvivorGracie: i understand
maroonedcastaway: considering now lucas wants me gone
SurvivorGracie: I don't blame you
SurvivorGracie: no he doesn't
SurvivorGracie: he really doesn't
maroonedcastaway: sure
SurvivorGracie: he wants to vote out ellie
maroonedcastaway: and if ellie wins immunity?
SurvivorGracie: probably me
SurvivorGracie: that's what he's been saying anyway
maroonedcastaway: THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP HIM AROUND
SurvivorGracie: 'cause my heart was bigger than the game
SurvivorGracie: kyle hates my guts
maroonedcastaway: Well obviously his isn't
SurvivorGracie: I know
maroonedcastaway: I'm talking about Lucas not kyle
SurvivorGracie: i know
SurvivorGracie: lucas totally was not upset about your vote
SurvivorGracie: he knew that you couldn't vote kyle
SurvivorGracie: if I could have gotten in touch with you .. I would have told you what I did
maroonedcastaway: I'm sorry if I sound upset
SurvivorGracie: no its okay taylor
SurvivorGracie: you have every right to be upset
maroonedcastaway: I just don't appercatie people going behind my back and changing the vote, I would have been fine with it had Jenne called me
SurvivorGracie: and I'd rather you tell me that you *are* upset
maroonedcastaway: she has my cell number, and I told her to give me a ring if anything happened
SurvivorGracie: hmmm.. I'm not sure why she didn't then
SurvivorGracie: I didn't do it to make you look bad or anything ... please believe that
SurvivorGracie: i just couldn't pick kyle over lucas
SurvivorGracie: for what its worth ... the jury is full of gracie and jenne haters
maroonedcastaway: well that's not what you both told me before we left
SurvivorGracie: i know
SurvivorGracie: I was so pissed at him
SurvivorGracie: I'm still not happy
SurvivorGracie: but
SurvivorGracie: my loyalty
maroonedcastaway: I just don't get the logic
SurvivorGracie: and my heart
maroonedcastaway: I understand loyatly
maroonedcastaway: and that's fine
SurvivorGracie: there wasn't logic to that decision
maroonedcastaway: but if someone told me I was the first one out at the final four
maroonedcastaway: I would have voted him off then and there
maroonedcastaway: but that's me
SurvivorGracie: yeah .... I'm weird :-\
maroonedcastaway: because ultimeantly he would have gotten rid of all of us to save jamie
SurvivorGracie: I'd rather him vote me out .. than me have to face myself in voting him out
maroonedcastaway: and you know that as well as I do
SurvivorGracie: jamie *had* to go
maroonedcastaway: For us yes
SurvivorGracie: that's why I felt not bad at voting out jamie
maroonedcastaway: but I still think he would have voted us out to save her
SurvivorGracie: definitely
maroonedcastaway: infact I know it, since he told her about our plans
maroonedcastaway: that's not showing loyalty beth
maroonedcastaway: sorry
SurvivorGracie: no is okay
maroonedcastaway: I've just wanted him gone for a while
SurvivorGracie: I'm sorry Taylor ... I really am
SurvivorGracie: I just ... couldn't do it
SurvivorGracie: it may cost me the game
SurvivorGracie: but .. I just couldn't
maroonedcastaway: well at the final four could you vote me out over lucas
SurvivorGracie: no .. at final four .. I'm prefectly willing to vote him out
SurvivorGracie: i know that sounds weird
SurvivorGracie: but at final four .. it's what I'm good with .. if that makes sense
maroonedcastaway: like you were perfectly willing to vote him out on wed.
SurvivorGracie: I deserve that ...
maroonedcastaway: sorry beth, I know I'm over reacting
SurvivorGracie: no .. its okay taylor
SurvivorGracie: really .. it's how you feel
maroonedcastaway: no it's not
maroonedcastaway: Beth I just want you Jenne and I as the final 3
SurvivorGracie: so do I
maroonedcastaway: and Lucas is the biggest theart
maroonedcastaway: and I kind of felt like I was set up last vote
SurvivorGracie: i never meant to do that
SurvivorGracie: I wouldn't have deliberately done that to you
maroonedcastaway: I know
maroonedcastaway: I know
maroonedcastaway: it's just very odd
SurvivorGracie: I know
SurvivorGracie: I voted with my heart instead of my head
SurvivorGracie: probably not a good survivorish thing to do
maroonedcastaway: it was just odd to come in, sit down, read the tc transcript
maroonedcastaway: it kind of felt like I had been backstabbed
SurvivorGracie: I can imagine
SurvivorGracie: I'm sorry ... that was never my intent at all
SurvivorGracie: 'cause jenne and I talked about her calling you
maroonedcastaway: i would have actually liked that alot
maroonedcastaway: even a voice mail
SurvivorGracie: .. I should have sent you an e-mail at least
SurvivorGracie: and I didn't think about it ... I'm sorry for that .. I really am
maroonedcastaway: it's okay
maroonedcastaway: brb
SurvivorGracie signed on at 8:27:25 PM.
maroonedcastaway: hey
SurvivorGracie: hey
SurvivorGracie: any reactions to socotra yet?
SurvivorGracie: AND
SurvivorGracie: did you see the challenge?
maroonedcastaway: yes
maroonedcastaway: I'm just giving them episode 7a
SurvivorGracie: lmao
SurvivorGracie: that's pretty appropriate *grin*
maroonedcastaway: I hope we can submit links
SurvivorGracie: I'm not sure ... I didn't think to ask
SurvivorGracie: my story is sucky
SurvivorGracie: still there?
maroonedcastaway: I'm here
SurvivorGracie:
SurvivorGracie: I just wondered ....
SurvivorGracie: 'cause you were so quiet

[Taylor]

taylorserveshard: You do know I'm really upset
JenneUCSC: i know
JenneUCSC: you do know why we did it though right?
taylorserveshard: because you felt bad
JenneUCSC: i was crying over it
JenneUCSC: it just wasnt worth it to me
taylorserveshard: when will it be worth it jenne
JenneUCSC: :-(
taylorserveshard: this is my thing with this
taylorserveshard: it makes no sense , it's an online survivor game
JenneUCSC: so why cut a friend over it?
taylorserveshard: it's not real jenne
JenneUCSC: so what if we loose?
JenneUCSC: i couldnt do it to him
taylorserveshard: oh so cutting a friend and stabbing him in the back by lying to him is okay]
JenneUCSC: i just coudlnt
taylorserveshard: well you just lost me
taylorserveshard: I am really pissed at this
JenneUCSC: i talked to kyle before hand
JenneUCSC: i had to go with my heart
JenneUCSC: all game i ignored it
JenneUCSC: i coudlnt do it
JenneUCSC: i just couldnt
taylorserveshard: please
taylorserveshard: if you were going to go with your heart the final six is not the time to start
JenneUCSC: all game it was the four of us to the end
taylorserveshard: espsically after you lied to your sussposed final two partner
taylorserveshard: and didn't bother to call me when you had my cell
JenneUCSC: i wanted to
JenneUCSC: i thought of that
JenneUCSC: but i didnt want to bug you over a game
JenneUCSC: i said that to beth though
JenneUCSC: it was very last minute
JenneUCSC: i went to bed wed night
JenneUCSC: lucas
JenneUCSC: i woke up and i felt awful
JenneUCSC: talked to beth
JenneUCSC: she felt the same
JenneUCSC: we thought it was fine you voted withkyle
JenneUCSC: you told us you had wanted to
JenneUCSC: i knew you would be pissed
JenneUCSC: but we talked to kyle before we did it
taylorserveshard: yes but I would have liked to have KNOWN what was going to happen
JenneUCSC: i told him
taylorserveshard: good
taylorserveshard: but you still stabbed me in the back
JenneUCSC: this was not against you taylor
JenneUCSC: this was following my heart
JenneUCSC: and not playing selfishing
JenneUCSC: mikey has been my friend as long as you have
taylorserveshard: I understand that Jenne
JenneUCSC: and when i didnt think of that, i could do it
JenneUCSC: but i talked to him the night before
taylorserveshard: but he would have voted all three of us out over jamie
JenneUCSC: and it was mikey taylor
JenneUCSC: mikey
taylorserveshard: you know that as well as I do
JenneUCSC: i dont care if you all vote me out now. i would not change that vote
JenneUCSC: i hate that i did that to kyle
JenneUCSC: and i may lose someone i really care about over it
JenneUCSC: but i still know voting mikey out would have put a black spot on my heart
JenneUCSC: and that is not worth it
taylorserveshard: well It's nice to know who you really care about
JenneUCSC: dont even act like you know i wouldnt have been the exact same way over you if it were reversed
JenneUCSC: you know that
taylorserveshard: well you obviously didn't have the heart to atleast call me and tell me what was going on before I sat down at my computer this afternoon and was blindsided
JenneUCSC: taylor you and i have never been the callers
JenneUCSC: i just just call you
JenneUCSC: dontcall you
JenneUCSC: sorry
JenneUCSC: i thought bout it
JenneUCSC: but i felt weird
taylorserveshard: well I would have been nice to know from the two people I thought were on my side, now I don't even know
JenneUCSC: taylor, i had to do what i had to do to feel right in myself
JenneUCSC: you do whatever is right for you
JenneUCSC: only you know what that is
JenneUCSC: just like only i knew what was right for me with mikey
JenneUCSC: you know me
taylorserveshard: that's fine
taylorserveshard: I'm not mad that you kept lucas
JenneUCSC: if you had been here, we would hvce told you
taylorserveshard: I'm mad that you either a went behind my back so I wouldn't fight to keep kyle or b. just forgot to tell your final two partner of a huge game change
JenneUCSC: it wasnt like we were trying to hurt you or undermine you
JenneUCSC: HELLO it didnt happen until last minute
JenneUCSC: AND YOU WERENT HERE
JenneUCSC: what am i supposed to do taylor?
JenneUCSC: send a telepathic message somewhere in teh US?
taylorserveshard: you had my cell phone number
JenneUCSC: taylor i dont really feel all that comfortable calling you
taylorserveshard: pick up the phone and call it, or at least send me an e-mail explaining why
JenneUCSC: i knew i would talk to you when you got back
taylorserveshard: rather than letting me find out from reading it on the message board
JenneUCSC: im not sending you a mesage. i want to talk to you
JenneUCSC: and that sux you read it on the message board
taylorserveshard: fine go ahead
JenneUCSC: and i understand why you are so upset
JenneUCSC: but we are all still here
JenneUCSC: this close to being the f4
JenneUCSC: kyle is gone
JenneUCSC: he hates me
JenneUCSC: you hate me
JenneUCSC: but this is what we were always trying to do
JenneUCSC: i was just naive in thinking playing a game with friends could ever go well
taylorserveshard: I don'
taylorserveshard: I don't hate you
taylorserveshard: I just don't think you see that is was a mistake to keep him around
taylorserveshard: I would have probably still voted for him had I been here
JenneUCSC: only if winning is the only thing that matters
taylorserveshard: I'm OKAY with kyle going
JenneUCSC: i know strategically he should have gone
taylorserveshard: Winning isn't the only thing that matters, but when lucas I KNOW would have screwed me over for Jamie I don't feel loyalty there
JenneUCSC: if i didnt have 2 yrs history with the man, lord knows he would have been the first guy gone
JenneUCSC: i guess selling out a friend wasnt worth winning a game like this
taylorserveshard: well he sold you out to jamie
JenneUCSC: no he didnt
JenneUCSC: she is gone
JenneUCSC: and we are all here
JenneUCSC: the four of us are all here, he never went against any of the 3 of us
JenneUCSC: EVER
JenneUCSC: he fell for her. whats the surprise there?
JenneUCSC: but he knew we would vote her out
JenneUCSC: and he let us
JenneUCSC: he chose us over her
taylorserveshard: he would have jenne he told her about our alliance he sold out beth to someone who will reveal it to the jury
taylorserveshard: no he didn't
taylorserveshard: we forced her to leave
taylorserveshard: he didn't vote her out remember?
JenneUCSC: he couldnt
JenneUCSC: but he let us
taylorserveshard: we never told him
JenneUCSC: he has made mistakes
JenneUCSC: i dont deny that
JenneUCSC: the only reason he made it this far is the rest of us
JenneUCSC: we know that
JenneUCSC: i just couldnt unload him early
taylorserveshard: he's almost cost us the game about 4 times now
JenneUCSC: i know this wasnt a rational decisiion
taylorserveshard: for such a crappy game play method he sure has made it far
JenneUCSC: it was the first emotional decision in the game for me
taylorserveshard: oh really
taylorserveshard: Lying to me the first half of the game wasn't emontinal , the three of you all hid this big serect from me
taylorserveshard: how do you think that makes me feel Jenne
JenneUCSC: i respected their wishes
JenneUCSC: i was urging them to tell you all along
taylorserveshard: well I wish you could have respected mine
JenneUCSC: but it wasnt my secret to tell
JenneUCSC: taylor i was in a hard situation
JenneUCSC: i did what i thought was right
JenneUCSC: i didnt like hiding anything from you
JenneUCSC: but it was their choice
JenneUCSC: not to tell you
taylorserveshard: whatever
taylorserveshard: you do have to understand why I haven't been as close to mikey tenzil or lucas as you two seem to be
JenneUCSC: why?
taylorserveshard: he lied to me for the first 7 votes of the game, even though I saved him twice, he told jamie about our alliance, and he wanted kyle go for no reason past keeping miss princess here
taylorserveshard: I don't exactly have the most respect for him
JenneUCSC: *sighs*
JenneUCSC: i dont know what else i can say
JenneUCSC: you are going to be upset with me
JenneUCSC: i cant change that
JenneUCSC: beth and i made sure to take any heat off you from him you know
JenneUCSC: made sure he understood your vote
JenneUCSC: we made sure to cover
JenneUCSC: so he understood
taylorserveshard: OH so your okay with lying to him about why I made my vote without my consent?
JenneUCSC: we did what we could to keep the four of us together
JenneUCSC: i told him the truth
taylorserveshard: really
JenneUCSC: what you told us when you had wanted to vote for him
JenneUCSC: we were covering for you?
taylorserveshard: the whole truth , what did you tell him
JenneUCSC: would you rather we let him be pissed at you all that time you werent here?
taylorserveshard: JenneUCSC: made sure he understood your vote
JenneUCSC: we made sure to cover
JenneUCSC: well we felt like we lef tyou han ging
JenneUCSC: i said to her i didnt want you taking any heat for our change of heart
JenneUCSC: would you rather you had a pissed of lucas waiting for you when you got back?
JenneUCSC: i told mikey you had talked to me and beth
JenneUCSC: cause we had had that conversation
JenneUCSC: that you wanted to vote with kyle, cause we didnt need your vote
taylorserveshard: well I would rather lucas known why I really wanted to vote him out
JenneUCSC: and you didnt feel right bout it and all

[Taylor]

JenneUCSC: well thats your right
JenneUCSC: and you can do that now
JenneUCSC: we were trying not to leave you hanging
JenneUCSC: we do care about you
JenneUCSC: we werent trying to screw you
taylorserveshard: but it just seems so fishy
taylorserveshard: I've felt like this " GREAT MIKEY" has been hovering over us the whole game and we have to make sure we don't piss him off
taylorserveshard: because we can't harm a friend, yet he reveals our alliance to jamie and lies to me for a month
JenneUCSC: look i was pissed off at him bout jamie too
JenneUCSC: and i didnt like him or beth hiding who they were from you
JenneUCSC: cause i knew you would be hurt
JenneUCSC: and i told him that
JenneUCSC: *them
taylorserveshard: I'm not upset with you Jenne, I'm just upset with the situtition
JenneUCSC: i was feeling the same thing bout him as you,. thats why i agreed to vote him off
JenneUCSC: but i couldnt do it without talking to him bout how i was feeling
JenneUCSC: and once i did, i wasnt pissed off at him anymore
JenneUCSC: and i couldnt do it
taylorserveshard: well then I'm glad you feel better
JenneUCSC: taylor, you know i would have the same feelings over you
JenneUCSC: and i would hope that that is something you like about me
taylorserveshard: I do
taylorserveshard: but on the other hand, I understand you feel so bad and everything, and I would 100% understand , if he hadn't broken our trust before
JenneUCSC: do you know how awful it was with kyle?
JenneUCSC: it broke my heart taylor
JenneUCSC: he was so mean to me
taylorserveshard: well it should have
taylorserveshard: and he should have been
JenneUCSC: he wanted to know why lucas over him
JenneUCSC: and i couldnt tell him
JenneUCSC: because the one thing we all agreed to was not telling bout aliases and past relationships
taylorserveshard: so did that help your heart at all
JenneUCSC: i feel like crap taylor
JenneUCSC: like a big pile of doo crap
taylorserveshard: oh well one person certianly didn't hold up there end of the bargin
JenneUCSC: and i am never playing this game again
JenneUCSC: period
taylorserveshard: Jenne, we have all made friends in this game, and it's very hard to vote anyone out, to end anyone's shot at the end, at advancing, but we are in the final 5 and were in the final 6, we've been with each other for a while

taylorserveshard: your going to be voting off friends and stuff that will pull on your heart strings every tc
taylorserveshard: it's shit, but it's this game
JenneUCSC: have you not noticed i was putting off having to do that?
JenneUCSC: the f6 were the 6 people i cared about the most
JenneUCSC: and never wanted to vote for
JenneUCSC: it was dumb but i put off the inevitable
JenneUCSC: and now the rest of this game is gonna kill me
JenneUCSC: i didnt know how much it would
JenneUCSC: i never wanted to think about it
JenneUCSC: put it off!
taylorserveshard: well I just want to know that it won't just be to much for you to handle at the final four to vote off lucas or beth and ( I know I'm pissed and being a jerk tonight) have to switch to me
JenneUCSC: taylor, it will hurt me to vote for any of you. but i'm not gonna wimp out
JenneUCSC: i can do it
JenneUCSC: taylor?
JenneUCSC: :-(
taylorserveshard: yes
JenneUCSC: can we hug yet?
JenneUCSC: i dont want you mad at me
JenneUCSC: *pouts*
taylorserveshard: I want an apology
JenneUCSC: *gets down on hands and knees* taylor, i am absolutely sorry that I did this to you. and it no means mean that anything has changed between you and i. i did this to satisfy my conscience but i am sorry i didnt call you or warn you somehow. and i am soo sorry to kyle to cause i suck for doing that to him. you should see the "i'm soooo sorrrrrys" in my confessional. cause i am soooo sorry.



JenneUCSC: *kisses toes* PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! *WHINES*
taylorserveshard: okay
JenneUCSC: :-) really?
taylorserveshard: yes
JenneUCSC: may i stand up now?
taylorserveshard: yes
JenneUCSC: *stand up though bows head in presence of the magnificent taylor*
JenneUCSC: ;-)
taylorserveshard: lol
JenneUCSC: *cheers* i got you to laugh! whoo whoo
taylorserveshard: sorry I went off I just felt you needed to know how I felt
JenneUCSC: i expected nothing less but i appreciate the apology
JenneUCSC: i forgot how hard this game was
JenneUCSC: do you know if karen makes public these stories?
taylorserveshard: there are episodes released
JenneUCSC: i mean will we get to read each others stories?
JenneUCSC: i think i be the only chance of making sure the four of us make the f4
JenneUCSC: :-(
JenneUCSC: ellie is a good writer
taylorserveshard: I'm submitting a socotra episode
JenneUCSC: lmao
JenneUCSC: the passion of mich and linds
taylorserveshard: well a scene of socotra
taylorserveshard: no
taylorserveshard: the CJ/Chase scene from episode one
JenneUCSC: i just snorted so hard it hurt
JenneUCSC: so do you know if we get to read one anothers or not?
JenneUCSC: im worried bout that if you cant tell
taylorserveshard: I don't know
taylorserveshard: why are you so worried?
JenneUCSC: oooh nooo reason
JenneUCSC: *whistles*