Chats 3-3-05

[Taylor]

SurvivorGracie: you there?
maroonedcastaway: yeah
SurvivorGracie: lol
SurvivorGracie: how are ya?
maroonedcastaway: goopd
maroonedcastaway: good*
maroonedcastaway: you
SurvivorGracie: good ... only one more hour til quitting time
maroonedcastaway: miss final 3
maroonedcastaway: I hope I can become mr.
SurvivorGracie: I hate this
SurvivorGracie: I don't want anyone to leave
SurvivorGracie: how upset will you be if you're the one voted out?
SurvivorGracie: I think everyone is afraid to face you at f2
maroonedcastaway: umm considering ellie told me the jury likes lucas the best
maroonedcastaway: and umm I would be very pissed since we agreed on lucas at the merge
maroonedcastaway: just like we agreed we would all be the final 4
maroonedcastaway: well the three of us agreed we would be the final 3
maroonedcastaway: so I would hope that would be honored
SurvivorGracie: the problem is ... no matter who gets voted out .. you or tenzil .. you'll both be mad
maroonedcastaway: that's to bad Jenne you and I all agreed
maroonedcastaway: we've strung him along for so long
maroonedcastaway: and I would vote for him over the both of you if you voted me off tonight
SurvivorGracie: wow
SurvivorGracie: that's not really fair
maroonedcastaway: it's not
maroonedcastaway: would it be fair to go back on a promise that was made weeks ago that we would be the final three
SurvivorGracie: I don't know .. would you like to ask kelley, steve, annette, kyle, and ellie the same thing?
SurvivorGracie: we all broke promises WE all made to them
maroonedcastaway: I know this
maroonedcastaway: but we didn't sit in a room together with them and say " we're the final three"
maroonedcastaway: and promise to vote out the other member of our four at the final four
maroonedcastaway: now would we?
maroonedcastaway: I hate to piss you off, but I don't know why your doing this to me
SurvivorGracie: I'm not trying to do anything to you
SurvivorGracie: you out of everyone should know that's NOT how I operate
maroonedcastaway: I have been nothing but honest with you the whole time Beth
maroonedcastaway: I know that
maroonedcastaway: and I know your honest
maroonedcastaway: but I would like a straight answer here, are you voting for me tonight?
SurvivorGracie: I have no idea tay
SurvivorGracie: right now I'm tempted to make you all face a purple rock
maroonedcastaway: why?
SurvivorGracie: because both you and tenzil are laying the guilt on me pretty damn thick
SurvivorGracie: and honestly
SurvivorGracie: i don't deserve that
maroonedcastaway: you know we don't have purple rock don't you
maroonedcastaway: it
maroonedcastaway: it's* past votes
maroonedcastaway: and tenzil had a few more than me
SurvivorGracie: the other thing I'm tempted to do
SurvivorGracie: is roll a dice in chat
SurvivorGracie: and make you both pick numbers
maroonedcastaway: I'm not trying to upset you
SurvivorGracie: I don't do guilt well
maroonedcastaway: not put guilt on you
maroonedcastaway: that
SurvivorGracie: this is a HARD vote
maroonedcastaway: 's not what I'm doing
maroonedcastaway: we made a deal at the jamie vote
maroonedcastaway: that you were fully behind
maroonedcastaway: if I had won immunity I would have no doubts that you Jenne and I would be the final three
maroonedcastaway: and would have voted for him over you in a heart beat
maroonedcastaway: I like you and I respect you
maroonedcastaway: but this is upsetting to say the least
SurvivorGracie: <sigh> it would have been easier if you had won
maroonedcastaway: can you see where I
SurvivorGracie: definitely
maroonedcastaway: am coming from*
SurvivorGracie: but what I still think about too .. is how you've been telling me is no way I can beat you at f2
SurvivorGracie: and
SurvivorGracie: I know you would take Jenne over me to f2
SurvivorGracie: and htat's okay
maroonedcastaway: and lucas wouldn't?
SurvivorGracie: its what I would expect you to do
maroonedcastaway: and beth
maroonedcastaway: You have to know I was joking when I was like
maroonedcastaway: " well I'll beat everyone in the final two."
maroonedcastaway: after the ellie fasico you guys were probably beat me
SurvivorGracie: I knew you were ... but it was also something to think about
SurvivorGracie: but
SurvivorGracie: you also know me well enough
SurvivorGracie: that winning isn't the most important thing to me
SurvivorGracie: granted
SurvivorGracie: I'd like to win
SurvivorGracie: but it's not the most important thing
maroonedcastaway: and it's not to me either, I want to, but the most important thing to me was holding up my word to everyone in this game
maroonedcastaway: which I have done to expect for one person , and that was tony
maroonedcastaway: and it was for the advancedment of the alliance
maroonedcastaway: and I would have to hope that the rest of my alliance members would have the same curtesoy
maroonedcastaway: Just look at it this way. Lucas is the jury favorite for some odd reason, you know this as well as I do
maroonedcastaway: you have a much lesser chance of winning with lucas /you/jenne final 3 than you do with a taylor/jenne/you final 3
maroonedcastaway: let's face it, I suck at the challenges
maroonedcastaway: and lucas almost beat you
maroonedcastaway: this time
maroonedcastaway: and he's won twice
SurvivorGracie: I still don't know how I won .. or we didn't have a tie
maroonedcastaway: because you beat him
SurvivorGracie: I don't know taylor ... I'm mighy confused about everything
SurvivorGracie: and I haven't had a chance to talk with Jenne at all hardly
maroonedcastaway: I can asure you Jenne will want to keep me, I don't mean to sound cocky, but we were talking about it last night
SurvivorGracie: 'cause it's been obvious for a while that you and lucas would vote for each other
SurvivorGracie: what'd jenne say?
maroonedcastaway: I asked her if the plan was a go for lucas
maroonedcastaway: and she said " isn't that what it's always been."
maroonedcastaway: I will say this, you can't expect people not to be upset with you if this is how you vote them out every time
SurvivorGracie: what do you mean?
SurvivorGracie: by talking honestly?
maroonedcastaway: no
maroonedcastaway: by making allainces that you aren't sure you can keep and then the day of tribal council saying that you don't know if it can work and that you aren't sure
SurvivorGracie: fuck taylor
SurvivorGracie: how the hell do you think we got this far
SurvivorGracie: we HAD to make people think they were safe until they couldn't do anything else
maroonedcastaway: We got far because we trusted each other, we formed a coehsieve group
SurvivorGracie: that was a small part
SurvivorGracie: the others had to think we weren't a

[Taylor]

danger to them
SurvivorGracie: and the only way to do that
SurvivorGracie: was to let them think they were safe
maroonedcastaway: well if this is my " let them think he was safe moment" you've done a good job
SurvivorGracie: and for you to insinuate
SurvivorGracie: that that's how I'm treating you is offensive
maroonedcastaway: well it is
SurvivorGracie: no its not
maroonedcastaway: yes it is
SurvivorGracie: and hasn't been how I've dealt with ANY of you
SurvivorGracie: you know me better than that
maroonedcastaway: beth
SurvivorGracie: I've got to go
SurvivorGracie signed off at 1:28:38 PM.
maroonedcastaway: vote for me if you feel you have to
maroonedcastaway: but I have been nothing but honest with you since day 1, and I feel like I've been lied to right now
maroonedcastaway: that may be a strong reaction and I know I'm not winning any points with you
maroonedcastaway: but I honestly don
maroonedcastaway: 't care
SurvivorGracie: bbr
SurvivorGracie: taylor
SurvivorGracie: i have not lied to you
SurvivorGracie: not once
SurvivorGracie: and
SurvivorGracie: when the fuck did I get to be so powerful to decide who gets voted out tonight
SurvivorGracie: and fuck you for trying to make me responsible
maroonedcastaway: because you have imunnity beth
maroonedcastaway: you have immunity in the final four
maroonedcastaway: that's power
SurvivorGracie: there are TWO more votes besides mine
SurvivorGracie: actually THREE
SurvivorGracie: *duh*
maroonedcastaway: and I'm not saying you've lied to me? What were the first two weeks of the game
SurvivorGracie: I didn't want ANYONE to know
SurvivorGracie: NO ONE
maroonedcastaway: but you told Jenne and Lucas
SurvivorGracie: and when I signed up to play this game
SurvivorGracie: I didn't even know anyone else i knew was playing
SurvivorGracie: and tenzil knew
maroonedcastaway: Neither did I
SurvivorGracie: because I had mentioned in passing that I had made a promise
SurvivorGracie: and THEN he told me he was plaing
SurvivorGracie: and then TENZIL told Lis and Jenne
SurvivorGracie: I never told them
SurvivorGracie: I finally told Jenne
SurvivorGracie: that I had to tell you
SurvivorGracie: so don't lay that on me
maroonedcastaway: then why do you want to keep some one who has outted you about five times now to different people around
maroonedcastaway: I'm not getting the logic here
maroonedcastaway: I'm not laying this on you beth, but I just don't apperecaite you saying " Would you be upset if you left tonight?" to me when we made an agreement , the three of us , that two of us are keeping, to vote off lucas at the final four
SurvivorGracie: well guess
SurvivorGracie: guess what*
SurvivorGracie: I said the same thing to lucas
SurvivorGracie: and to jenne
SurvivorGracie: you weren't special
maroonedcastaway: I don't feel special ,but I hate that I've pissed you off, and I hate that I'm mad Beth, but it just hurts that you would think of getting rid of me before the final three when we made a deal
SurvivorGracie: well i hate the fact that i've lied to so many people that are on the jury that they DESPISE me
SurvivorGracie: I hate the fact that no matter who the fuck gets voted out tonight
SurvivorGracie: will also DESPISE me
SurvivorGracie: I hate the fact that I"m hurting someone I care about
SurvivorGracie: I hate the fact that someone I care about is gonig to DESPISE me
SurvivorGracie: no matter which way I go
SurvivorGracie: I hurt someone
SurvivorGracie: someone hates me
SurvivorGracie: WHAT is it you'd like me to DO
maroonedcastaway: It's your vote , I'm not going to be selfish, I would just like to know the truth beth, what has been going on this whole game, because I guess I'm out of the loop
SurvivorGracie: you have not been out of the loop
SurvivorGracie: jest a sec .. work thing going on
SurvivorGracie: I'm not ignoring you
SurvivorGracie: our cash isn't balancing and I have to make sure it does
maroonedcastaway: it's okay
maroonedcastaway: just whenever you get back
SurvivorGracie: I hate it when it doesn't balance
SurvivorGracie: lol
maroonedcastaway: I'm sorry
SurvivorGracie: got it done finally though
SurvivorGracie: still didn't balance
SurvivorGracie: but figured out what went wrong at least
maroonedcastaway: good
maroonedcastaway: glad that's over with
SurvivorGracie: are you gonna be online in about 30 mins?
maroonedcastaway: i will
SurvivorGracie: m'kay .. I"m leaving work
maroonedcastaway: I didn't mean to get upset with you
maroonedcastaway: but just put yourself in my shoes
SurvivorGracie: <sigh> the thing is taylor .. I understand
SurvivorGracie: 'cause I DO put myself in your shoes
SurvivorGracie: that's what people don't get about me
SurvivorGracie: I *FEEL* what I vote
SurvivorGracie: never think this is easy
maroonedcastaway: I know it isn't easy
maroonedcastaway: it's not easy for me tonight
SurvivorGracie: I will never be kamiyan
SurvivorGracie: the long-lasting affect of Camp Hell is still with me
SurvivorGracie: I don't forget
SurvivorGracie: <sigh> I have to scoot though .. they're kicking me outta here
SurvivorGracie: I'll be home in abotu 1/2 hour
maroonedcastaway: okay
maroonedcastaway: see you then
SurvivorGracie: okies
maroonedcastaway: have a safe trip
SurvivorGracie: thanks

[Taylor]

taylorserveshard: Hey
JenneUCSC: taylor i am pissed
JenneUCSC: a stupid cop came to my work
JenneUCSC: and called me the mistress!
taylorserveshard: WHAT
taylorserveshard: bastard
JenneUCSC: and then when she left said "i'll let you get back to whatever is was you were doing"
JenneUCSC: i was sooooo pissed
JenneUCSC: bitch!
JenneUCSC: do i look like a ho?
JenneUCSC: do i look like i didle my boss?
JenneUCSC: grrrrrr
taylorserveshard: lol
taylorserveshard: Diddle
taylorserveshard: rofl
JenneUCSC: just cause i diddled the gardner doesnt mean i....
JenneUCSC: grrrrrr
taylorserveshard: lol
JenneUCSC: i took a light to get fixed yesterday too, and the 40 something yr old owner totally hit on me
JenneUCSC: i must like be givn off the ho vibe
taylorserveshard: I get that from you right now
taylorserveshard: I
JenneUCSC: hey!
taylorserveshard: am like " Woah, she so wants to jump me right now."
JenneUCSC: *smacks taylor*
taylorserveshard: lol
taylorserveshard: ugh I'm still sick
JenneUCSC: *hugs*
JenneUCSC: *hands a tissue*
taylorserveshard: I feel like I'm going to cough up a lung
taylorserveshard: <-- so nervous about tonight
JenneUCSC: sorry phone;brb
JenneUCSC: what are you nervous about?
taylorserveshard: lucas winning ic
JenneUCSC: i am pretty positive beth beat him
JenneUCSC: if we was honest bout his posting time that is
taylorserveshard: yeah but
taylorserveshard: beth didn't have all the answers
JenneUCSC: well iposted first
JenneUCSC: i know that
JenneUCSC: but i have some wrong
JenneUCSC: i know that
JenneUCSC: so ?
JenneUCSC: mikey has some wrong too though
JenneUCSC: its over in 15mins
JenneUCSC: then it'll take her awhile before she posts huh?
taylorserveshard: yeah
JenneUCSC: i have to pick up da kid from VB practice
JenneUCSC: then i have section
JenneUCSC: what you think of AR?
taylorserveshard: I thought it was pretty good
taylorserveshard: you?

JenneUCSC: battery died
JenneUCSC: i enjoyed it
JenneUCSC: i think the POW and the beauty queen are idiots, so are barbies and all those others that dug up the 7:40
JenneUCSC: and i find myself routing for rob/amber even though i dont want to
JenneUCSC: just made me so happy how their presence irks everyone else
JenneUCSC: and using their fame to bump themselves up in the rankings
JenneUCSC: vonderful
taylorserveshard: I know
taylorserveshard: true
taylorserveshard: I liked the old team , as always " So this is what the kids call wedgies." The Hilton sisters annoyed me
taylorserveshard: Romber is always annnoying
taylorserveshard: the rest were okay
taylorserveshard: loved the subtitles for the hicks though
JenneUCSC: shit, brb. late to pick up dog, groomer closes

taylorserveshard: -Hey
taylorserveshard: -Hey
taylorserveshard: So gracie won
JenneUCSC: i JUST saw
JenneUCSC: that was CLOSE
taylorserveshard: so lucas right?
taylorserveshard: we aren't voting for each other lol
JenneUCSC: lol
JenneUCSC: i just came on for a sec cause i wanted to congratulate her but she no here
JenneUCSC: :-(
JenneUCSC: i need dinner adn have to do hw, so i wont be here long
taylorserveshard: well so it's lucas?
taylorserveshard: or m ike
taylorserveshard: finally
JenneUCSC: has that not been the plan since like well...forever?
taylorserveshard: I know
taylorserveshard: he just imed me and was like well it's between you and me
JenneUCSC: awwww :-(
taylorserveshard: so final 3 is over the weekend
JenneUCSC: the challenge?
JenneUCSC: yep
JenneUCSC: which is good for me
JenneUCSC: even though i have two midterms next week to study for
taylorserveshard: right
taylorserveshard: alright I'm off to bed
JenneUCSC: ok, g'night taylor! *blows kiss*
taylorserveshard: to the final 3
JenneUCSC: where's the champagne?
taylorserveshard: our kiss will have to make due
JenneUCSC: ooh when did we kiss?
JenneUCSC: how could i have missed that
taylorserveshard: we blew one
JenneUCSC: oh that
JenneUCSC: :-(
JenneUCSC: thought i missed something good
taylorserveshard: *kisses on lips*
taylorserveshard: there
taylorserveshard: that good?
JenneUCSC:
JenneUCSC: oh my!
JenneUCSC: is it hot in here?
taylorserveshard: night
taylorserveshard: and yes it is
JenneUCSC:
Auto response from taylorserveshard: I am away from my computer right now.


taylorserveshard: I hope you know what beth is up to
JenneUCSC: what does that mean?
taylorserveshard: she came up to me this afternoon and said would you be mad if I voted for you
JenneUCSC: that doesnt surprise me, she is closer to mikey then she is to you
JenneUCSC: but thats a weird way of approaching the subject with you
taylorserveshard: so is it me tonight?
JenneUCSC: taylor i have gone back and forth
JenneUCSC: and beth and i have talked about it a lot
JenneUCSC: because how am i supposed to chose between my two best friends in the survivor land?
taylorserveshard: I understand
taylorserveshard: I just wish you guys wouldn't have agreed to a final three with me
taylorserveshard: if this was going to happen
JenneUCSC: its not like anyone knew what would happen
taylorserveshard: so it is me?
JenneUCSC: i had a final 3 with you adn kyle too
JenneUCSC: its you
taylorserveshard: why?
taylorserveshard: I want you to look at me
taylorserveshard: and tell me why in the hell you are backstabbing me
taylorserveshard: why have you lead me on
JenneUCSC: *takes taylor's hand and looks you directly in the eye*
taylorserveshard: you could have told me last night
JenneUCSC: no matter what decision i made i would be backstabbing someone
taylorserveshard: i don't give a fuck
taylorserveshard: tell me why
JenneUCSC: and i always planning on going to the final 2 with you
taylorserveshard: then why are you voting for me
JenneUCSC: but things changed in this game along the way
taylorserveshard: why
taylorserveshard: what happened
taylorserveshard: why
taylorserveshard: what did I do
JenneUCSC: taylor you didnt do anything wrong
taylorserveshard: TELL ME
JenneUCSC: but if you want to know why , i am closer to mikey than i am to you
JenneUCSC: strategically i shouldnt vote for you
taylorserveshard: So you screw me over when I'm out of town
taylorserveshard: and now you do it here
taylorserveshard: great way to treat a friend
taylorserveshard: you nor beth will get my vote in the finale
taylorserveshard: congrats
JenneUCSC: taylor please dont be like this
taylorserveshard: HOW WOULD YOU FEEL JENNE
JenneUCSC: i would feel hurt
JenneUCSC: and betrayed
JenneUCSC: and upset
JenneUCSC: just like you
taylorserveshard: Well I'm voting for you tonight
taylorserveshard: then
JenneUCSC: i thought you might say that
taylorserveshard: if you couldn't have the respect to tell me that that it will not happen
taylorserveshard: that I won't make the final two
taylorserveshard: I don't deserve this
JenneUCSC: what do you deserve?
JenneUCSC: what does mikey deserve?
taylorserveshard: I should have been told before had
taylorserveshard: hand*
JenneUCSC: what do any of us deserve?
taylorserveshard: I'm not Kyle or Annette
JenneUCSC: this is survivor, and someone goes
taylorserveshard: I'm Taylor
taylorserveshard: someone you've known for two fucking years
JenneUCSC: you are being told beforehand
JenneUCSC: this isnt a decision that was made a long time ago
taylorserveshard: 3 hours is before hand
taylorserveshard: well I hope you have fun playing your game and being honest
JenneUCSC: beth and i talked last night
taylorserveshard: no wonder the jury hates you
JenneUCSC: they hate me because i outplayed them
taylorserveshard: no
taylorserveshard: they hate you because you do this shit to them
JenneUCSC: vote them out?
taylorserveshard: honestly I never want to talk with you again after this
JenneUCSC: that makes me really sad taylor
taylorserveshard: well then you shouldn't have told me that it was the plan all along last night
JenneUCSC: but if you want to throw a friendship away over a survivor game, then you never were my freind to begin with
taylorserveshard: make an alliance with me at the jamie vote to go to the final three
JenneUCSC: chris voted michelle out at this point in the first season
taylorserveshard: but you could have told me
taylorserveshard: before hand
JenneUCSC: i am!
JenneUCSC: we didnt decide till we talked last night
taylorserveshard: 3 FUCKING HOURS ISN"T BEFORE HAND
JenneUCSC: you had already gone to bed
JenneUCSC: this is the first time i've been on
taylorserveshard: YOu could have called
JenneUCSC: oh jesus taylor
taylorserveshard: you could have done something
JenneUCSC: this is an online game
taylorserveshard: forget it
taylorserveshard: bye jenne

taylorserveshard: You know what I spoke to soon, I don't want our talking to end, I just want you to know that even though this is an online game, I can see why everyone doesn't want to vote for you in the finals or beth for that matter. We weren't treated like people you don't build someone up coddle them and tell them they are making the final three and then vote them off like you are going to do me. You don't get involed if you can't keep the promises you make
JenneUCSC: i am glad to hear you say that. and i dont expect to win this game
JenneUCSC: i tried to keep everyone happy
JenneUCSC: and you just cant
JenneUCSC: its a losing strategy
taylorserveshard: It's not that you tried to keep everyone happy
taylorserveshard: I felt like I was treated like a lamb to salugtar

[Taylor]

taylorserveshard: I should have known I was a fourth when I was the last to find out
taylorserveshard: I feel like something has been held over my eyes the whole game
JenneUCSC: you werent gonna be fourth all along
taylorserveshard: if you want to know the truth
JenneUCSC: we always planning on a f3 with you
taylorserveshard: you fucked with me when I couldn't do anything about it
taylorserveshard: you got rid of kyle when I was out of town
JenneUCSC: that was bad timing
taylorserveshard: and you plotted to get rid of me when I was sick and in bed
taylorserveshard: I feel used and abused
taylorserveshard: and I just hope you know I don't apprecatie it at all
JenneUCSC: :-( taylor, i am sorry that it has come to this
JenneUCSC: and i know i am the bad guy here
JenneUCSC: this fact does not escape me
taylorserveshard: I was always going to honor what I thought should have been the final two in tonga
taylorserveshard: this was sussposed to go how tonga should have
taylorserveshard: because I wasn't going to play until chris said you were, I was to busy with socotra to worry about it
JenneUCSC: chris told you i was playing?
taylorserveshard: then I find out two friends have been lying to me for two weeks
JenneUCSC: i didnt know you knew i was
taylorserveshard: and then you get rid of kyle without me, and then this
taylorserveshard: i feel like I keep getting beat when I'm down

taylorserveshard: I feel like shit right now
taylorserveshard: I haven't cried this long in a long time
taylorserveshard: I've always been with you in this game, I was never once planning to get rid of you
taylorserveshard: and I don't think anyone else remaining even mike can probably say that
taylorserveshard: i just want you to know that this is the first time I have ever been emontinally hurt in a survivor game even if it was online, and remember that's where we all met
JenneUCSC: wow
JenneUCSC: i dont even know what to say to you at this point taylor
JenneUCSC: i feel like shit
JenneUCSC: there is nothing i can say that will change what i have done or how you feel
taylorserveshard: probably not
taylorserveshard: I feel like even though I was played under a semi alias I feel like the three of you have lied to me the whole time
taylorserveshard: I know that may not be the case
taylorserveshard: but that
taylorserveshard: is my gut feeling
JenneUCSC: you were who i wanted in the f2. i meant that when i made that deal with you
JenneUCSC: and you were who we wanted in the f3
JenneUCSC: we meant that when we said it
taylorserveshard: then why has it changed now
JenneUCSC: things changed along the way
JenneUCSC: beth and i got to be really close
JenneUCSC: playing this game
taylorserveshard: I expected that
JenneUCSC: you didnt talk to me that much
taylorserveshard: I knew that
taylorserveshard: I tried
JenneUCSC: and mikey has been a better friend to me. i know that sounds harsh. but he called me on my birthday. you always forget my birthday. and i was gonna vote him out
JenneUCSC: all that time ago
JenneUCSC: but i just couldnt do it
JenneUCSC: and now...
JenneUCSC: im lost
taylorserveshard: well i'm glad I'm a shitty friend
taylorserveshard: but I will say something at tribal council tonight, so I just want you to be ready
JenneUCSC: i never said that
JenneUCSC: you lied to me for two yrs
JenneUCSC: and that hurt me
JenneUCSC: mikey has never hurt me
taylorserveshard: well I guess we just hurt each other then
JenneUCSC: i guess we have
taylorserveshard: Well I will say this
taylorserveshard: if it's you and beth in the finals
JenneUCSC: you vote for beth
taylorserveshard: you will get my vote if that makes you happy
JenneUCSC: wow, that shocks me
taylorserveshard: no because at least you had the balls to tell me
taylorserveshard: when she couldn't
JenneUCSC: but lucas gets it over me
JenneUCSC: i know there is a catch somewhere
taylorserveshard: yes he does
taylorserveshard: because he didn't make promises that he might not have been able to keep
JenneUCSC: its true
JenneUCSC: i made promises to everyone
JenneUCSC: which ultimately lead me to let everyone down


taylorserveshard: well you've made your bed
JenneUCSC: i have
JenneUCSC: i am never playing this game again
JenneUCSC: ever
taylorserveshard: You know why I'm so grauded, and you are the first peson I've ever shared this with,
JenneUCSC: you told me someone hurt you
JenneUCSC: but you never really explained
taylorserveshard: that's not it
taylorserveshard: this is revalent to tonga, my grandmother who I loved dearly died the day I applied to tonga, I applied because it was escape, my grandmother was like a 3rd parent I spent probably as much time with her growing up as I did my mom and dad, and when tonga came along I gaurded myself because I didn't want anything horrible to happen, but I openned up to you, I showed you who I am, yes I lied about my age, but that was for protection pyhscologically , because I thought if they really don't know my age or my personality then I can't let them really hurt me, and go away from me. and I openned up to you. I am not call you on your birthday, and I may not be the best friend you've ever had, but you meant something to me in a time when I needed someone to latch onto
JenneUCSC:
JenneUCSC: damn you taylor. i swore i wasnt gonna let anyone make me cry again in this game
JenneUCSC: and now im balling like a baby
taylorserveshard: this is the first time I've ever cried online since you left
JenneUCSC: you know how close i was with my grandmother. i would have understood. why did you never tell me?
taylorserveshard: because you know how indepentant I am, you know how much i hate letting people see me being weak

JenneUCSC: but thats why i never felt close to you. you never let me
JenneUCSC: i wanted desparetly for that with you
JenneUCSC: and i awlays felt you shut me out
taylorserveshard: jenne there are only about 4 or 5 people that I haven't shut out
JenneUCSC: i shut down after court's family died. and i shut down even further when i lost my grandmother. i almost killed myself with my pain. i know how it is
JenneUCSC: hearing this come from you is just bring up all sorts of stuff for me now
JenneUCSC: and i cant stop crying
JenneUCSC: and my kid is sitting next to me and probally thinks i am insane
taylorserveshard: lol
JenneUCSC: cause im all snotty and teary
taylorserveshard: ehh it's nothing new for me this week
taylorserveshard: I've been this way all week
taylorserveshard: not teary but snotty
JenneUCSC: taylor, i always felt there was a wall between us. that there was a limit imposed on our friendship. that it would never get to that deeper level. and i am glad to finally know why
JenneUCSC: and i appreciate how hard that was for you to tell me
JenneUCSC: cause it took 2yrs and our friendship almost ending twice for it to happen
taylorserveshard: vote me off tonight if you want, I don't care any more
JenneUCSC: i wish we had had this conversation a long time ago
taylorserveshard: well we've had it now, no need to wish for the past
JenneUCSC: can i hug you now?
JenneUCSC: i really wish i could for real
JenneUCSC: i wish i could hold you and make you all better :-( i wish that were possible, i really do
taylorserveshard: yes you can hug me
JenneUCSC: *climbs ladder*
JenneUCSC: *throws arms around taylor*
JenneUCSC: *snuzzles into his neck and cries some more*
taylorserveshard: thank you jenne
JenneUCSC: for what?
JenneUCSC: caring about you?
taylorserveshard: just for putting up with me for the past two years
JenneUCSC: :-) oh that, yah it was a tuff job but someone had to do it
JenneUCSC: i always secretly hoped i would crack you eventually
JenneUCSC: and get past the superficial bullshit
JenneUCSC: there would be snippets here and there which told me it could happen
JenneUCSC: but they were rare
JenneUCSC: you are an interesting person taylor
JenneUCSC: you challenge me
JenneUCSC: and that is something that is rare for me
taylorserveshard: well thank you
JenneUCSC: i mean it
JenneUCSC: i know our relationship has been odd
JenneUCSC: sometimes flirtatious sometimes platonic. we have gone up and way down
JenneUCSC: and yet something always kept us coming back
taylorserveshard: i know
taylorserveshard: It's diff. been a wild two years
JenneUCSC: the minx and her dork!
JenneUCSC: :-P
JenneUCSC: sounds like a bad superhero duo
JenneUCSC: better than superboobs and cockman!
taylorserveshard: lol
JenneUCSC: *breaks into fits of giggles for the first time in weeks*
taylorserveshard: *buffs and cuffs 2: minx and her dork
JenneUCSC: "buffs & cuffs strikes back: superboobs vs cockman"
taylorserveshard: lol
JenneUCSC: *deep breath* ok, i need to finish up here at work. so i gots to go. i am really sorry i won't be there tonight
JenneUCSC: cause it sux i wont be
JenneUCSC: but i am looking forward to this game ending, so we can pick up where we left off and hopefully move forward
JenneUCSC: *gives taylor and hug and holds on tight*
JenneUCSC: i am sorry taylor, i am. :-( goodbye
JenneUCSC: and feel better! *hands tay a tissue*
JenneUCSC: *blows kiss*

[Taylor]

Modifed to add the middle of the first part that I just found.

taylorserveshard: CRAP
LucasHorowitz: I know
taylorserveshard: Man I sucked
LucasHorowitz: i didn't even doublecheck mine
LucasHorowitz: i should have
taylorserveshard: I didn't either
LucasHorowitz: I knew i had that one wrong too
taylorserveshard: I was in a race at the end because I knew everyone had posted theirs so I messed up
taylorserveshard: because all of those were ones I had to go back and do at the end
taylorserveshard: Oh well, I will completly understand if you chose to get rid of me
LucasHorowitz: well...i think its you or me
LucasHorowitz: so good luck
LucasHorowitz: it was a blast
taylorserveshard: you to
taylorserveshard: agreed
LucasHorowitz signed off at 12:14:31 AM.
LucasHorowitz signed on at 2:41:48 AM.
LucasHorowitz signed off at 2:42:04 AM.
LucasHorowitz signed on at 1:07:11 PM.
LucasHorowitz signed off at 2:27:52 PM.
LucasHorowitz signed on at 6:00:50 PM.
LucasHorowitz is away at 6:01:23 PM.
taylorserveshard: congrats

Auto response from LucasHorowitz: phone.

LucasHorowitz signed on at 6:11:07 PM.
taylorserveshard: good job!
LucasHorowitz: why don't I feel happy then?
taylorserveshard: well you just got my jury if you make it
taylorserveshard: so congrats on that
LucasHorowitz: I don't think i stand a chance in hell, personally, of winning a jury
taylorserveshard: you're underestimating yourself then
taylorserveshard: everyone hates Jenne and Beth for the way they handled them up until their final tribal council
taylorserveshard: you don't build up people's promises and coddle them only to shoot their hopes down
taylorserveshard: even though they are just a screen name they are people
taylorserveshard: and we all weren't treated like a person
LucasHorowitz: well I guess we'll see
LucasHorowitz: I'm still not feeling too confident
LucasHorowitz signed off at 7:42:10 PM.
LucasHorowitz signed on at 8:59:50 PM.
taylorserveshard: I'm confused, did I just watch an episode of Survivor about
taylorserveshard: Survival
LucasHorowitz: it happens
LucasHorowitz: lol
LucasHorowitz: but wasn't that a GREAT challenge
taylorserveshard: The challenges this year have been excellent
LucasHorowitz: agreed
taylorserveshard: they've been different
taylorserveshard: we are so used to seeing the same ones over an over
LucasHorowitz: i know
LucasHorowitz: I heard they had some ideas in reserve
taylorserveshard: yep
taylorserveshard: Although I have to say
taylorserveshard: WILL JEN EVER TALK
LucasHorowitz: never
LucasHorowitz: ever
LucasHorowitz: lol
taylorserveshard: she's making darrah look like Eliza
LucasHorowitz: lol
taylorserveshard: Beth and I were talking and we think we chould all not vote and let a challenge decide
LucasHorowitz: i'm not crazy about that idea
LucasHorowitz: because in every series its been prior votes
LucasHorowitz: and I have the most
taylorserveshard: understood
taylorserveshard: I'm asking karen

[Taylor]

taylorserveshard: YAY
SurvivorGracie: who won?
taylorserveshard: YOU
SurvivorGracie: WHAT
taylorserveshard: You got all 50 right
taylorserveshard: Lucas and Jenne got 49
taylorserveshard: and I got 44
SurvivorGracie: how the hell did I do that!
taylorserveshard: Final 3
taylorserveshard: so lucas still?
SurvivorGracie: lol ... have you and lucas talked?
taylorserveshard: yeah he just imed me and said ,. so it's between you and me
taylorserveshard: and I want it to be him
taylorserveshard: but still lucas
SurvivorGracie: lol
taylorserveshard: I know
taylorserveshard: lol
SurvivorGracie: honestly .. this vote will be the hardest of all
taylorserveshard: i know i know
taylorserveshard: as long as it's not hard because I'm going
SurvivorGracie: wouldn't matter who went ... it would be tough
SurvivorGracie: I love all you guys
taylorserveshard: i know
taylorserveshard: well night
SurvivorGracie: aw .. I just get home
SurvivorGracie: I went out and got my hair cut and dyed
taylorserveshard: well then
taylorserveshard: I'm going to go
taylorserveshard: good night
taylorserveshard: see you tomorrow
SurvivorGracie: *hugs Taylor*
taylorserveshard: *hugs
SurvivorGracie signed off at 12:05:30 AM.
SurvivorGracie signed on at 8:43:55 AM.
SurvivorGracie signed off at 1:12:41 PM.
SurvivorGracie signed on at 2:28:09 PM.
SurvivorGracie signed off at 2:50:27 PM.
SurvivorGracie signed on at 3:13:17 PM.
SurvivorGracie signed off at 4:28:23 PM.
taylorserveshard: Hey
Previous message was not received by SurvivorGracie because of error: User SurvivorGracie is not available.

SurvivorGracie signed on at 5:56:34 PM.
taylorserveshard: Hey
taylorserveshard: YOu know what
SurvivorGracie: hey
SurvivorGracie: what?
taylorserveshard: you could have told me when I asked you
taylorserveshard: you didn't have to be a coward
SurvivorGracie: I wasn't being a coward
taylorserveshard: I am turly hurt
SurvivorGracie: as am i
taylorserveshard: then what were you
SurvivorGracie: I told you
SurvivorGracie: I hadn't talked to jenne
taylorserveshard: that's not what she said
taylorserveshard: she said you two talked last night
taylorserveshard: and it was me
taylorserveshard: and you two were closer to mike
SurvivorGracie: you know what
SurvivorGracie: I'm giving my immunity
SurvivorGracie: you 3 vote me the hell out
SurvivorGracie: I'm done
taylorserveshard: don't
SurvivorGracie: taylor
SurvivorGracie: i'm tired of your guilt
SurvivorGracie: i'm tired of mike's guilt
SurvivorGracie: i'm done
SurvivorGracie: and
SurvivorGracie: when I said something to you today
SurvivorGracie: you went off on me
SurvivorGracie: and I listened to what you had to say
SurvivorGracie: that's not being a coward
SurvivorGracie signed off at 6:00:53 PM.
taylorserveshard: but you could have told me something

Auto response from SurvivorGracie: I've run away from everything.

SurvivorGracie signed on at 6:04:06 PM.
SurvivorGracie is away at 6:04:07 PM.
SurvivorGracie returned at 6:07:40 PM.
SurvivorGracie signed off at 6:07:42 PM.
SurvivorGracie signed on at 6:28:18 PM.
SurvivorGracie: <sigh> it doesn't even matter what the fuck I do
SurvivorGracie: so I take you're just not gonna speak to me
SurvivorGracie: okay
taylorserveshard: Gracie , Beth
taylorserveshard: It's not that I just don't want to speak to you
taylorserveshard: it's just that I'm fed up with this
taylorserveshard: you and Jenne have made your bed
taylorserveshard: you may think you are both playing the game everyone else has, but you're not
taylorserveshard: but it's time for you both to lay down in what you've made soon
taylorserveshard: and I can't wait to be there
SurvivorGracie: what you need to realize taylor
SurvivorGracie: is without me and jenne
SurvivorGracie: you wouldn't be here
SurvivorGracie: you would have been voted out a long time ago
taylorserveshard: see you both say that
SurvivorGracie: because its true
taylorserveshard: but that may or may not be true
taylorserveshard: when would I have been voted off actually?
SurvivorGracie: you would have been voted out instead of kelley
SurvivorGracie: or jamie
SurvivorGracie: both times they had votes to vote you out
SurvivorGracie: and there was once pre-merge
taylorserveshard: well good for them
taylorserveshard: there was always once for everyone
SurvivorGracie: jenne and I did what we had to do
taylorserveshard: I could have voted you off beth
taylorserveshard: I could have
SurvivorGracie: you could have
taylorserveshard: the final seven there was a coup against you
taylorserveshard: and the final eight
taylorserveshard: and I was the swing vot
taylorserveshard: vote*
taylorserveshard: and I didn't
taylorserveshard: because I thought we had a final three
SurvivorGracie: fine taylor
SurvivorGracie: have immunity
SurvivorGracie: have a great life
taylorserveshard: I don't want it
SurvivorGracie: never talk to me agin
taylorserveshard: I want to talk to you again
taylorserveshard: i just want you to realize that you aren't immune to this, everyone in this game could have been voted off
taylorserveshard: we always could have gotten the votes against someone
SurvivorGracie: taylor
SurvivorGracie: i have never treated anyone the way you are treating me
taylorserveshard: so saying that does nothing
SurvivorGracie: not once
SurvivorGracie: not never
taylorserveshard: I'm not treating you anyway
taylorserveshard: I'm being honest
SurvivorGracie: bullshit
taylorserveshard: I like you
taylorserveshard: I really do
SurvivorGracie: you like me
SurvivorGracie: but I'm not allowed to play
SurvivorGracie: i understand
SurvivorGracie: fine
taylorserveshard: I never said you couldn't play beth
taylorserveshard: there's a fine line between playing and toying with peoples emontions
SurvivorGracie: and guess what
SurvivorGracie: I have NOT done that to you
taylorserveshard: you may think that
taylorserveshard: but you have
taylorserveshard: I've made peace with it
taylorserveshard: I could have gotten really nasty and threatened to change your editting in Socotra, or even worse, but I didn't because I respect you, I just wish you guys would have told me earlier
SurvivorGracie: told you earlier when?
SurvivorGracie: immunity was decided last fucking night
SurvivorGracie: ANY GODDAMN THING COULD HAVE HAPPENED
taylorserveshard: umm Jenne told me you two talked last night
SurvivorGracie: and I fully expect my editing in Socotra now will suck
SurvivorGracie: so fucking waht
SurvivorGracie: write me any godamman way you want
taylorserveshard: I asked you this afternoon if it was me
taylorserveshard: and you couldn't give me a straight answer
SurvivorGracie: Taylor .. give me a fucking break
SurvivorGracie: I was listening to you!
taylorserveshard: and that's what set me off, because I knew talking to you last night it was me
SurvivorGracie: well guess what
SurvivorGracie: I didn't
taylorserveshard: I understand that
SurvivorGracie: I did NOT know last night
SurvivorGracie: you were talked about
SurvivorGracie: tenzile was talked about
SurvivorGracie: i told jenne we need to talk to both of you today
SurvivorGracie: that's where I left it
taylorserveshard: that's fine
SurvivorGracie: so go somoke that
taylorserveshard: Beth, I've made peace with it
SurvivorGracie: yeah
taylorserveshard: and I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier
SurvivorGracie: it really sounds it
taylorserveshard: I shouldn't have
taylorserveshard: but you upset me and I snapped
SurvivorGracie: well happy you
taylorserveshard: and I'm sorry for that
SurvivorGracie: you've been making me cry all afternoon
SurvivorGracie: weeha
taylorserveshard: and you think I haven't cried
SurvivorGracie: and all I did
SurvivorGracie: was simply ask you the same fucking question I asked both jenne and tenzil
SurvivorGracie: and you know what the major difference was
SurvivorGracie: jenne and tenz both said
SurvivorGracie: "its a game"
SurvivorGracie: "friends are more"
SurvivorGracie: and you
SurvivorGracie: went off on me
SurvivorGracie: in a major way
taylorserveshard: you kicked me when I was down last week with the kyle vote
taylorserveshard: and that made me doubt you two
SurvivorGracie: so yay
taylorserveshard: and I'm sorry if I went off
SurvivorGracie: you get to vote me out tonight instead
taylorserveshard: and I'm sorry I didn't it's just a game
SurvivorGracie: and I hope you can live with THAT
taylorserveshard: but it is just a game. and guess what I wanted to play that game to my bitter end
SurvivorGracie: and you now get to
taylorserveshard: beth, what I said to you today wasn't personal, it's just what i said ealier was true. I haven't felt as close to you as I know you have to Jenne and Mike, so them saying it was a game was fine
taylorserveshard: and dandy
taylorserveshard: but to me I'm a compeitive person, and I agrue the most with the people I respect the most
SurvivorGracie: I know exactly where I stand with all 3 of you
SurvivorGracie: 2nd place
SurvivorGracie: always
SurvivorGracie: I KNEW that
SurvivorGracie: I ACCEPTED that
SurvivorGracie: I always knew I wouldn't get to f2
SurvivorGracie: that's been a no-brainer to me
SurvivorGracie: but I wasn't going to lay down and die
taylorserveshard: well then neither was I
SurvivorGracie: and out of anyone
taylorserveshard: and so when I felt threatened I attacked I tried to prove why I was more worthy
SurvivorGracie: you should know that I have ALWAYS considered friends more important
SurvivorGracie: than a game
SurvivorGracie: ALWAYS
S
S
SurvivorGracie signed off at 12:25:31 AM.

[Taylor]

urvivorGracie: how badly I've treated people
SurvivorGracie: after tonight
SurvivorGracie: I"m disappearing for a good long while
taylorserveshard: yes because I felt like i had to speak for those 5 jury members who couldn't talk
SurvivorGracie: well yay for you
taylorserveshard: I'm not saying your an awful person
taylorserveshard: because you aren't
SurvivorGracie: those jury members can speak for themselves when they vote
taylorserveshard: you are a great person
SurvivorGracie: what I did to vote them out was all about getting us 4 HERE
SurvivorGracie: and yay
SurvivorGracie: look at us now
SurvivorGracie: aren't we happy
taylorserveshard: but I just don't like how you've played the game, but I still have respect for you so much
SurvivorGracie: so you'd rather I played the game and just let them vote you or mikey out
taylorserveshard: I saw what happened in Socotra and anyone that can come from as far down and out as you were will never lose my respect
SurvivorGracie: I should have let the girls vote out jenne at the first vote
SurvivorGracie: I PLAYED this game
SurvivorGracie: start to finish
SurvivorGracie: I played
SurvivorGracie: and ALWAYS
taylorserveshard: great job
taylorserveshard: you played
SurvivorGracie: the intent was us 4
taylorserveshard: but look at the cost
SurvivorGracie: yeah
SurvivorGracie: the cost is my friends .. who I played fucking FOR
SurvivorGracie: telling me what a pile of shit I am
SurvivorGracie: aren't I lucky
taylorserveshard: Beth you aren't a pile of shit
taylorserveshard: you are a shining star and that sounds so cleeshay but you will always be one
SurvivorGracie: people see "beth"
SurvivorGracie: people expect "beth" to be one certain way
SurvivorGracie: and if I do anything else
SurvivorGracie: well then
taylorserveshard: No that's not
SurvivorGracie: obviously I'm not who I'm supposed to be
taylorserveshard: it
SurvivorGracie: I HATE being Beth
SurvivorGracie: i have to go
taylorserveshard: go, but you hating being you is a problem bigger than this game
SurvivorGracie signed off at 7:36:09 PM.
SurvivorGracie: <sigh>
SurvivorGracie: you don't get it at all
taylorserveshard: maybe I don't
taylorserveshard: maybe I don't get you
taylorserveshard: but I atleast respect you, if that counts for anything
taylorserveshard: I respected you enough to not say it was game , do what you want, i fought for myself
SurvivorGracie: you know the difference between us
SurvivorGracie: I wouldn't have fought for myself at the expense of a friend
SurvivorGracie: so
SurvivorGracie: not only do I lose you
SurvivorGracie: but in doing what I"m going to do tonight
SurvivorGracie: both tenz and jenne will be pissed
taylorserveshard: you never lost me
SurvivorGracie: the other difference is
SurvivorGracie: I would have been happy losing to any of you
taylorserveshard: umm so would I until today, even though I was mean about lucas
Previous message was not received by SurvivorGracie because of error: User SurvivorGracie is not available.

SurvivorGracie signed on at 7:54:36 PM.
taylorserveshard: I will say something that I think we can all agree on... Survivor really does Suck
SurvivorGracie: I don't even want to watch the show
taylorserveshard: I'm going to
taylorserveshard: but I really don't either
SurvivorGracie: taylor .. I'm sorry I hurt you
SurvivorGracie: I wouldn't want that for anything
SurvivorGracie: I have never meant to hurt anyone
taylorserveshard: Do you know why I was so hurt when I found out it was me and that jenne said you had forgotten to tell me
taylorserveshard: because that's what happened in season 2
SurvivorGracie: she said WHAT
taylorserveshard: she said that you two had picked me to go late last night
taylorserveshard: and that you just didn't tell me
SurvivorGracie: <sigh>
taylorserveshard: that's why I was so upset with you
SurvivorGracie: I'll deal with that later I guess
taylorserveshard: because the one thing that makes me so upset is people knowning that they are getting rid of me
SurvivorGracie: taylor
taylorserveshard: and when I ask they don't admit it
taylorserveshard: and I know you didn't
taylorserveshard: and I'm cool with
taylorserveshard: alright I need to go
taylorserveshard: see you in an hour
SurvivorGracie: what am I supposed to do tonight
Auto response from taylorserveshard: I am away from my computer right now.

taylorserveshard: hey
SurvivorGracie: hey
taylorserveshard: I think we should all just not vote and self vote and do a challenge to see who goes
SurvivorGracie: jenne's already voted
taylorserveshard: she votes for me
taylorserveshard: I vote for her
taylorserveshard: lucas doesn't vote and neither do you
taylorserveshard: lol
SurvivorGracie: have you suggested that to tenzil?
taylorserveshard: no
SurvivorGracie: I'm still immune though
taylorserveshard: true
taylorserveshard: but it takes it out of our hands
taylorserveshard: lol , why didn't we think about that before
SurvivorGracie: what did Tenzil say?
SurvivorGracie: you said this afternoon it would be decided by past votes
SurvivorGracie: not a challenge
taylorserveshard: he hasn't responded
taylorserveshard: let me ask her
taylorserveshard: I know in the past it has
taylorserveshard: but who knows here
SurvivorGracie: how did you approach it with Tenzil?
taylorserveshard: he said he would
taylorserveshard: but if it's past votes then he doesn't want to
SurvivorGracie: one problem though
SurvivorGracie: jenne's not here to participate
SurvivorGracie: did you tell Tenzil it was my idea?
taylorserveshard: they'll wait until she gets back I'm sure
taylorserveshard: I said it was my idea
SurvivorGracie: ah
taylorserveshard: but you told me to ask him
SurvivorGracie: yeah
taylorserveshard: it would be cool if it was a challenge
taylorserveshard: this sucks
SurvivorGracie: I know
SurvivorGracie: I have a feeling that someone from pre-merge is talking to the jury
taylorserveshard: yes but you somehow find tc meaningless if you are going
SurvivorGracie: I thought you were going to rip me apart tonight?
taylorserveshard: just about 10 minutes
taylorserveshard: not worth my time or my energy
SurvivorGracie: um, thanks?
taylorserveshard: lol
SurvivorGracie: you know I play all heart
taylorserveshard: I do, but I also will be honest out of the three of you you will need to work the hardess for my vote
SurvivorGracie: well .. I don't even expect to BE in f2
SurvivorGracie: and if by miracle I get there
SurvivorGracie: I don't expect a single vote
SurvivorGracie: and whether you vote for me or not
SurvivorGracie: doesn't impact our friendship a single bit
taylorserveshard: I'll vote for jenne if you vote for lucas so it won't be 3-1, lol
taylorserveshard: you know you have to keep me up to date with the final three stuff
SurvivorGracie: I do adore you
SurvivorGracie signed on at 10:37:01 PM.
taylorserveshard: what's going o n
SurvivorGracie: with what?
taylorserveshard: the final challenge
taylorserveshard: when is it
taylorserveshard: and you don't know how much they hate us
taylorserveshard: it's scary over here
SurvivorGracie: I can't talk about the challenge or anything I got hands slapped and warned
taylorserveshard: heh
taylorserveshard: like I'm going to tell anyone
taylorserveshard: but okay