A Taylor Story

[gracie]

In case you want to see what kind of sense of humor (*grin* and even if you didn't), I'm gonna post a story outline that Taylor wrote this morning ~ on the fly.

During Holidays, I complained once about an aspect of my job, going over applications and how some people couldn't fill them out properly, and Taylor did the same sort of thing then.

This morning, we were talking and I complained about how is it possible that we have SNOW on the ground on April 24th.

Here is what he did: Enjoy.

[gracie]

The Apprentice: Beffy Style 2: Bad Weather Day



Thunder Corp vs. Lighting, INC

Episode 1: Candidates must make the best " Weather Board" and display it on National TV viewers will then vote for the one they like best, winning team gets to ride in a weather balloon , while the losers meet in Weather Center where one will be " Fired" or in this case "Blown Away"

Episode 1: (continued) When Thunder Corp creates a electronic touch screen weather board they deafen lighting which sends Project manger Al Rooker to the board room, a huge fight ensues between Al and Tammy Sunshine as they fight for Survival. Tammy calls Al still fat and ugly, and Al says Tammy is vacant, after much deliberation The Beffy tells Al that he can just " Put his lips together and blow himself away" because of his really bad idea.

Episode 2: The 17 remaining candidates meet at the Weather Channel where Beffy has just fired everyone there. She tells them that this week 5 more will be fired, and that while they are still in teams, this challenge is individual, and that they must have a screen test. When Tammy does so well the others are Jealous, and miserably fell at the task. Beth calls everyone into the weather center but Tammy. Saying that this group stinks more than her bus driver group. Gracie Vain says that that can't be possible and is then “Blown away on the spot". The Beffy has no time for this nonsense and tells Bill RayLight to get rid of his hair piece and to get out. She then throws Tex Ses her can of hair spray and tells her that if her hair got any bigger the Beffy wouldn't have room to breather. Tony Bright and Sally Rain are also fired for just being stupid.

Episode one: Still Fat
Episode Two: The bigger the hair, the more stupid the person.

Episode 3: “Lightening Must Have Struck You More than Twice."

Episode 3: In the most shocking episode of the Apprentice ever, there is a scandal a foot. Someone has discovered that Tammy Sunshine is really Tammy ReallyStupid after she is found snorting coke in the bathroom, and not the drug kind either, she's snorting actually soda. When Beffy hears of this she automatically fires Tammy ReallyStupid, and says now she knows why she's so hyper and fidgety all the time. She then explains to the remaining 11 "Weather People" that they better get their ass in gear because she doesn't like what she's seeing. But as Tammy is leaving Beffy turns around and gives one of the most touching moments in reality TV history, she tells Tammy that she will pay for her to get some help on her coke addiction. At the end of the episode all the remaining contestants and the Beffy do a PSA to warn teenagers on the dangers of getting hooked or snorting soda.

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Episode 4: “Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse than Tammy."
Episode 4: The most shocking Weather Center ever occurs this episode. After a grueling task of actually taking the test to become a meteorologist, which all of the contestants failed, Beffy called Thunder into the board room citing that they had much lower scores than Lightning. Jimmy High debates with her on this in the board room, and says that no one as stupid as Bobby Low from Lightening. “WRONG" Beffy shouts back at him and shows him his paper. He is shocked to have made a zero. “At least Bobby made a five you dumbass, maybe you should got to driving buses and see how well that works for you." Beffy replies as she “Blows him away." " And Johnny Coldfront , you dumbass, on the question about what happened in the suite last week, you put that you were found snorting coke, well I guess you know what that means. That's right, you’re worse than Tammy. If there’s one thing I hate worse than soda snorters its closeted soda snorters “You’re Blown away, and get the hell off my planet." She yells.

Episode 5: “No one is that dumb, you must be retarded."

Episode 5: This one proves to be tough for the contestants, when Beffy asks the teams to make a weather forecast for tomorrow based on what the weather is outside today, that contestants are dumbfounded. She explains even more slowly that they must guess what it will look like outside tomorrow, based on what it looks like today. The final nine are still confused after she tells them to get going, and that the winner receives a trip with her to Puerto Vallarta, and they best not be predicting rain for the trip. When Lightening comes back with their presentation, saying that based on the warm 95 degree weather today, that it will be 2 degrees and a new ice age will start tomorrow. Beffy proclaims them the winner, saying that the most unlikely thing to happen normally does, and they are shipped of to Puerto Vallarta while Thunder meets back in the board room. Bobby Low says that it's ridiculous to say that there is no way that what lightening says can happen. While Beffy agrees she tells him that as a weather man you must send the area you are over into chaos, and with that kind of attitude he will never be able to cut it.

Episode 6: “Great now we have to make a human sacrifice."

Episode 6: The game takes a field trip to the Mayan Ruins of Mexico, Beffy tells them the reason that are here is that the Mayans were excellent at reading the stars to predict what the weather was, and that they must do the same. She expects them; however, to be their own stupid selves. This prediction proves to be correct when Jan Sprinkle steps on the wrong step and brings down the Mayan monument to the snake god. When Beffy hears of this she shows up from her elegant five star hotel to tell them that since they have angered the Mayan gods so much they have to make a human sacrifice. Unfortunately for Jan this means she won't be making the trip back to New York, as Jan relives them from their sin the rest of the group faces judgment. Unfortunately for Lightening, they messed up the forecast this time, saying it would rain on Beffy's vacation. Thus the Project Manager, Don Hail was fired for just being rude.

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Episode 7: “Life is a hellhole, get used to it."

Episode 7: The Final 6 (Bobby Blizzard, Henry Hurricane, Tommy Tornado, Mitch Meteorite, Sandy Sun, and Allie Avalanche) are all nervous for the next big task. When Beth tells them they are going to hell, Sandy starts to cry. Beth comforts her and tells her that she probably is going to hell, but for right now she's going into a live volcano. For this task contestant must climb into an active volcano, take a rock sample, and use it to determine what the weather was like 1000 years ago. When Lightening members are too scared to go in, Beth tells them that they are smart and have won the task. She looks at Sandy and says, “Listen, that if you were stupid enough to jump into an active volcano you are stupid enough to be blown away, goodbye. Sandy leaves visibly shaken. She then turns to Henry. “As the losing project manager I'm firing you, literally. Go jump in the volcano. Idiots like you shouldn't be on this planet." When Henry says he won't do it, she reminds him that he is bond by the contract he signed to do whatever she says, so “Jump Monkey, Jump!"

Episode 8: “THERE ARE NO BREAKS."

The teams are no more as Beffy sends them to be interviewed by her friends and family, who will report back to her on who should be fired. After a grueling interview process, Bobby is visibly tired and lays down to take a nap, however, when Beffy comes back from listening to who her family thought should be fired, she was also upset, that her family was so stupid that she had to fire them. When Beffy discovers Bobby she is angry beyond belief at the fact that he would sleep in her presence. She wakes him up and yells. “DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM? I AM BETH S. THE PERSON TRYING TO GIVE YOU A JOB, YET YOU SLEEP WHILE I'M HERE." After waking Bobby up she calls him and Tommy into the weather center, saying that her family told her they were the two worst. As Tommy explains why he should be kept Bobby falls asleep again, which again infuriates Beth to the point that he is Blown Away in his sleep, and instead of waking to a weather balloon to leave the competition he is escorted to the street and left there, were he still is today."

Episode 9: “Shake what your mama gave ya."

Episode 9: The final three are called to the weather center and are given their most unusual task yet. They are to be curbside prophets, and should try to make money, the two people the make the most money will move on to the finale. Then person with the lowest is BLOWN AWAY. Being the only woman left in the competition helps Ally, as she can strip for money and not have to worry about those pesky predictions. Tommy has no trouble with looking like a nut. But Mitch takes it a little too far. Making most of the passerby's uncomfortable, and making them call him "creepy." MITCH EXPLODES at this and runs back into the board room telling Beffy that he is the greatest ever and that everyone else is just mean to h him and if she could see the big picture she would know that he was the smart one. Beffy laughs in his face and calls Ally and Tommy into the weather center just so they could see Mitch get fired, but before hand, Beth congratulates Ally on making her proud and "shakin' what her mama gave her." Mitch is then fired, but instead of the normal treatment he is put in a straight jacket and taken away.

Finale: " Finally a person who makes sense."

Finale: For their final task Ally must oversee the national weather convention. While Tommy must oversee the transport of Mitch to the mental hospital. Ally succeeds overwhelmingly on her task and when Beffy and the production team meet for the final board room The Beffy Tells her that she is obviously the best candidate and is going to win, but they have to wait for Tommy to return so he can he humiliated. However when hours turn into days and Tommy doesn't show up the production team gets worried, very worried. They search they area for Tommy, and finally find the van that was transporting Mitch and Tommy dead with "CREEPY" written across his chest. When Beffy sees Mitch eating someone buryed in the woods she grabs the policeman's gun and "blows" him away, literally. She then hands Ally the crown of being the “BEFFY APPRENTICE." To which Ally expects the job as national weather person. And her main job is to make the Beffy happy.