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Post by Host Karen on Jan 9, 2005 2:03:56 GMT -5
Judging only by the profiles on the website, what are your first impressions of everyone? Does this impression change after "meeting" them online and if so how?
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 11, 2005 0:21:37 GMT -5
OH MY GOD! Is this really the first day? I am so exhausted and spent I'm not sure what to do with myself. I really can't give superficial impressions on everyone cause I didnt have the chance to properly scope out everyone before the game started. It was one of those BAM it all hits you at once sorta deals. I feel like because of the virus i came down with i am now playing catch up with folks who have a day head start. I am beyond intimidated and completly freaked out. So I never had a chance to form opionions on everyone and have yet to meet everyone but i can break it down thus far... I'll start with the boys cause i wish i was on their tribe Taylor: Taylor and I have an interesting history. He and I were canoe partners and friends in Survivor Tonga. He voted me off. Do I secretly kinda sorta want to payback for that? YES! Will I? doubtful. We have a lot of history and maintained a friendship for 2 yrs now. We actually got in a fight a couple weeks ago and i was planning on never talking to him ever again. He emailed me though and told me he was playing so i tried to patch things up for game sake. Now i dont know where i stand. Sometimes i love taylor and sometimes i hate him. He lied to me for 2 yrs and i dont know if i can ever forgive him for that. I told him this game is our chance to start over. If he does right by me, then I will continue our friendship. but if he lies or screws with me thats it. the friendship is over. I am huge on trust and if you cant trust your friends, then who else is there? So this game is make and break for the duo of taylor and jenne. there really is just so much between us i wont bother boring you with now. But it should be interesting. Lucas: well Lucas is my beloved Mikey bears from Tonga! its wierd that ive only played one game ever and the only two people i stayed close with from that game happen into this one. it complicates matters. I would never screw this guy over. He has been my friend and cofidant for years and i am as loyal as can be to this man. We have been thru a lot of changes in both our lives and we have supported each other always. So i would rather get voted off then screw with his position. He had a hard time in these games so i hope he does well. Mitch: My fellow nor cal boy! he introduced himself right away and was really forward. I like him a lot and feel like I can trust him. why was i not on the boys tribe? anyways we are bonding and joking around and having fun. nothing too exciting to report except i like the dude. ryan: also one of the first guys i met. dont have too much of an impression. Just trying to feel him out and all. He told me i should get in good with lisa and steph which seemed a lil odd but for now i want to keep a working relatioship goin with him. Kyle: i liked him right away. he is a flirt, like me and we had fun conversing. I hope to see him later on in the game cause him and i can have some fun together. He is fer sure my kind of guy. He seems to be in good with taylor too which is a plus. Steve: met briefly, seemed nice but didnt have enough of a chance to get to know him. Lookn forward to hearing his story bout capturing a fuguitve. Seemed like a sweet kid and I think him and I will get along fine! As for steven, tony, and rami i havnt met them and have no idea who they are. so i will hold back judgements till a later time. onto the girlies... Ashlee: Well ashlee is sweet lil lizzie from okinawa and socotra. i got to know her a lil bit during socotra as i helped out. She is funny as all hell and someone i feel i can trust. she could be playing me but for now she is the one i trust most on my tribe. We have fun and crack each other up so as long as i have her around i know i will be having fun in this game. Gracie: well gracie and i seem to be on the same page. everyone i know in this game and trust tells me to trust gracie. so i do...for now. she knows me from tonga i guess. i was wondering if i had any name recognition out there cause i dont think of myself as being "known". i heard a rumor beth was playing and i was wondering if gracie is her. who knows though. all i know is gracie is in jenne's camp and that puts me in her camp. Ellie: i liked her immediatly. she's cute. and again she seems to be of the jenne camp so i am of the ellie camp. anyone who does not write my name down at the first TC will be my friend though. I hope her and I can work together cause i do genuinely like this one. Annette: Spoke with her briefly. Seems like a lovely enough person but i really didnt have a chance to really get a feel for her. Stephanie: The first girl to approach me and we got along great. Seem to be like minded but I dont trust her. I've heard the rumor mill grinding about her and lisa so i have my guard up. But i will play nice as long as she does. She seems to be "acting" nice and i dont know if i buy it. Lisa: Just met her and not sure if i can trust her. She is saying she doesnt know anyone in the game but gracie said she knows stephanie. im keeping my options open though. if im not voted off first, then im goin where the power is so i make nice with everyone including lisa. we had a cordial enough convo but you could tell she was holding stuff in. thats ok though. so am i. Havn't met Jamie or kelley. Sadly because with a TC coming up its not good to have any loose ends. I am trying to make up for lost time but it may be too late. I really dont know. I dont know where the power is or who the players are. right now im just trying to get names down. Its a long road ahead and who knows if i am up for it or not. but my butt hurts and i must get off the puter now. stay tuned....
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 11, 2005 18:30:09 GMT -5
So I must comment on the fact that I already know 2 girls and 2 boys in this game and that all 4 are playing under assumed identities. It puts me in a rough spot. I can't help but feel I can trust those 4 above all else but i also have a dilemna in that i dont think its fair. this game has never been about fair but the way i was raised does not fit well in the game of survivor. My mother is the sweetest, kindest, most loving, accepting person i have ever met and my father is one of the most ethical, honest, filled-to-the-brim with integrity kinda guy. So the environment i come from did not breed me to be a survivor "player". I am playing as me because i dont know how to be anything else. and i won't reveal anyone else's true identities because i would not feel right about it. I don't feel comfortable lying nor do think i possess the ability to back stab. That leaves me a soft cuddly bunny rabbit out here and doesn't help me one bit. In fact the biggest challenge in this game for me is overcoming myself. How is that for a battle? I really would love to see one of the people i know win, moreso than myself winning. Right now its intimidating because instead of having to get to know 7 other tribemates you have to get to know 17 other people all at once which to me creates chaos. Which of course leads to drama and hence good TV. I know people are willing to go pretty far to win and I am hoping those people see me as someone who can help them rather than inhibit them. I am strategyless and am beyond trusting. Its hard for me not to take people for face value and my ability to read people beyond what they represent is nill. Not much a psychology student eh? Its hard when people are only words on a screen. Very difficult to treat them as actual humans. Why things will most likely get very dirty very quickly. I am just hoping to keep my hands clean which will inevitably leave me in the lodge or possibly on the jury. At least i can accept my fate. I sometimes wish i was more competitive, more of a fighter, but ultimately it just doesnt fit. I'm excited to see how this first TC goes. It will be more revealing than anything else that has happened. It is possible for me to be voted out and I would be completly accepting of that but I hope its not me of course. I want to watch as the claws come out and things get nasty. Even if i cant be that way myself doesnt mean i dont enjoy watching it happen! ever the voyeur....
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 13, 2005 4:16:18 GMT -5
so my mind started to wander as it finally dawned on me that i am on a tribe. i know i am supposed to be all gung ho, ra ra, but i just can't. the people on the other tribe seem to care more about if i stay or go than my own team. blah! so this is the situation at hand. enough people came to me and told me my name was being tossed around that i knew it had to be true. i dont know how set in stone it was but i went on an immediate response to counteract any damage previously done while i was gone. I know i have two angels in gracie and ashlee and that they want me here because they know i will stick by them. gracie is a great player. she's not mean and never ruthless but she is always the one everyone likes and trusts. ashlee is a good player too but she seems to be over eager at times. I went to jamie to try to secure her in the jenne camp and she jumped on me so fast i thought i was smothered in chocalate! All i did was act all scared and vulnerable and that i needed her in order to stay and she was all over the mother fucker. Immediatly it was" i can get you 3 votes and im working on the 5th", just like that! so jamie must have just been waiting for the right time to make her move to try to control the vote. she seemed to be gunning for lisa before i even spit the name out. she is aggressive and i like that. we havnt even had time to x-change pleasantries but she wants control of my vote and i am ok with that because it puts us in the majority. the other possibility of course is that she is playing me but i have a feeling jamie is making a power play here and was waiting for the opportunity. she must think she has gracie and ashlee pretty tightly reeled in if she was bold enough to tell me she had 3 votes already. I dont care bout jamie at this point as far as long-term, im not thinking that far ahead (maybe thats a mistake) but if she can help me now, i will fer sure try my darndest not to mess with her. the guys all dont trust each other which is a hoot for me. they all *seem* to adore me in that they all seem pissed that i was targeted and want to do sometihng about it. either i am one mother fuckn charming chica or these boys just think they found someone who will be loyal to them down the line. i tend to think its the latter. but whatever. the boys can be sweet on me or to me and it dont matter none to me. as long as at the end of the day, they dont want my name written down at TC that is all that matters to me at this point. So mitch, taylor, lucas, steve, kyle are all lookn good in my book as of now. I have still yet to meet rami, steven, or tony. the rest of the girls at this point still seem scattered. if any alliances have formed, im not in em. i would be naive to think they didnt exist though. i bonded with ellie pretty tight. i just really like her. she's how I should have turned out if i didnt screw up in HS. I went to ellie and laid it out for her. i needed her to vote for lisa and i think she is solid. i think she trusts me and she should because i trust her and dont want her goin anywhere. as for lisa herself....i am sorry i had to throw the target back on here but i wasnt the one gunning for her at all. i went to her straight out, told her i had heard her and my name mentioned as targets. i was thinking maybe she would want to put our minds together to get out of it but she seemed indifferent to me. i gave her that chance and she missed out. cause if i didnt have her on my side then i wasnt goin to try to protect her. her going is my best chance of staying now. so lisa i do apologize for this but it still could me going so i had to do what i had to do. im just trying to get my ass off the hot seat then im laying low. keeping my working relationships in tact and hopefully continue to move forward in this game. i want to keep my male relations on the DL cause i dont want the ladies to bump me cause of ties to the other tribe. right now my goal is to appear as unthreatening as possible but liked and trusted. if i make a merge or twist i think i would be sitting pretty but i never take anything for granted. so i did find it interesting how quickly jamie jumped on me when i put myself out there to her but for now i have no choice but to trust her. and odd enough stephanie approached me telling me she was happy i was voting for lisa. i dont buy that at all. later she asked who else i was thinking of which makes me feel she's trying to lull info out of me. I am going to talk to her about lisa though maybe gain some of her trust in this vote by being honest with her. it was too hard to communicate cause she was on her cell phone so i truly hope her and i can have a heart to heart today and see if there is a working relationship possible between the two of us. later that day.... well i think i had a breakthru with stephanie today. i thought for awhile what i could say to her that would break down her defences a bit. felt like she was pent up and was waiting to be drained. she started talking WAY more than she had before. i trust people who talk more. when people dont talk much it feels like they are either hiding something, holding back, or taking a lot of time to think bout the *right* thing to say. she is too friendly though and i find the hugs and "luvs yah" a bit much. but i like when people are nice to me so i will play along. but really im not playing this game to make friends. friends are a biproduct at this point. i feel jaded or something. lol. last game i was so into making friends and got a huge knife in my back so now i am beyond skeptical. mitch seems really into being my friend. i dont know how he can feel so connected to me before we even met. he is sweet though. always trying to give me advice and helping me along. i appreciate it really but he does lay it on thick. but i cant help but like a guy who is protective of me. jamie and i at least had a chance to talk for real today. poor thing is in a horrible place after losing her father. i have enough experience with death to truly appreciate the position she is in. i wouldnt be playing a game like this so soon after such a loss. but at least the mystery of her eagerness was solved tonight. late night pow wow with my man lucas and he provides the answer immidiatly. homeboy steared jamie to the lisa vote and had her primed for me. fuckn awsone! sometimes that man just makes my day! anyways TC tomorrow. i will be happy to have the first one over with. hopefully i will still be here to continue my ramblings. but for now its time for some beauty sleep
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 16, 2005 14:58:59 GMT -5
So i suppose it time for me to sit down and comment on the last couple of days. I survived the last vote, Yeah! 7-2 vote too which was exactly what i expected so that is a good sign. I didn't mind the vote from Kelley at all. If we need to vote someone else off she just made it that much easier to vote her off. I have to say I am becoming more comfortable with the ladies. Ashlee has disapeered. Her strategy no doubt. Gracie has been my rock out here. You could use our conversations as confessionals really because I dont hold anything back from her. I havnt ever played a game with her before but i have watched her play and I like the way she plays. I think she is very good! Anyways i dont think being stuck with all the girls would have worked out without gracie by my side. she has just been a great comfort to me. In fact having her and lucas in this game is like having a big sister and brother watching over me. They are very loving, supportive people and i am lucky that i have them here with me. Without those two I would be feeling really alone right now. so mitch...wow that situation got bad fast. the guy came on way too strong. for some reason he singled me out as a person he really wants to be with for this game. who knows how much is an act or if its sincere. I was fine with working with him. He liked me and seemed to be working for me so that was fine by me. but the lame ass had to tell me he was wary of lucas. the ONE person here i am closest with he chooses to target. Mitch, thats where you went wrong. you never should have gone after lucas. it was then that you lost me. you see mitch, im not the helpless little creature you thought i was. truth is i was playing you. you seemed to want to like me so i tried to become exactly what i thought you wanted me to be. apparently i did it too well. it was a mistake going to ryan to turn him against you. i know that now I was trying to help get lucas the numbers to get mitch out. problem is lacky ryan went crying to his mommy bout what i said. mitch seems so convinced that someone is trying to tear us apart. Let me clear something up. Mitch, you and I were never friends. You do not love me. You do not even know me. Let's just say i have some scar tissue built up in this game and it takes a lot longer than a couple of days to breakdown my defenses. You freak me out though dude. This guy seems so blown over by my snow job that he isnt even capable of thinking i might be behind all this. he is convinced i am being used and controled. and he wont drop it. its not like i can tell him the truth afterall. i keep trying to be nice to him and trying to get him off my back. but its impossible. he has caused me more emotional anguish out here the last two days than you could possibly imagine. i wish he was just gone. sooooo baaaad. i wish i never had to talk to him ever again. i wish i wasnt playing a game with this guy. but im stuck with it. so all i can really think of is how to get him out of here. mikey is very concerned about this situation. i know mikey would throw his whole game away to protect me. we just have a really tight bond. we met outside of the game in the lodge. he was already in love with CJ and taylor and i had our own flirtations going. so we had very innocent platonic roots. our friendship formed purely that is. he has seen me through a lot in my life and is always one of the first people i turn to in crisis. he really has been a huge support in my life for the last two years and here in this game has been no different. I dont want him to throw his game away for me. I need him here. in fact if he goes and im stuck here with mitch, ill probally just curl into a blubbery ball of tears.
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 18, 2005 1:59:23 GMT -5
In survivor if you aren't playing the game, then you are being played by someone who is. I learned that lesson the hard way last time. This time i came in jaded with a mistrust of everyone and a wisdom about how things work out here. but i think i may have become the enemy. My hands are dirty. Very very dirty. I do not feel like i am the good guy here at all. and i dont think my hands are clean. i keep goin back and forth with how i feel about what has happened in the last couple days. Who would have thought lil ole jenne could cause so much hoopla but i should have known. the little drama queen that i am i should have known some form of explosion was bound to happen with me around. and of course it would have to do with a guy. so on one hand i feel like the bitch. mitch wanted desparetly to be my friend. I am not sure why he was so attached to me but he was before i had even met him. he obviously trusted me and told me a lot of things he shouldn't have. I don't understand his attachment to me. I always felt he came on strong but figured that was just his strategy. when gracie and i discussed the situation we found out he was feeding us similiar lines. now really i can't fault the guy for that. i've been recycling lines out here all day long. i dont have the energy to have 17 new conversations everyday. what caused the rift between mitch and I is when he focused his attention on lucas. honestly i care more bout lucas doing well than myself so I immediately was over my relationship with Mitch and went on an immidiate mission to undermine his position in his tribe. I guess I could be seen as a shitty person here. because i defenetly did to mitch what i kept telling him had happened to me before. I am thus a hypocrite. go me! Though I was never in an alliance with mitch. he liked me so i played along with his fantasies. thats what you do in this game. as long as others feel they have a need for you, they won't vote you off. so my goal was to be needed by the people here. i think what happened is mitch needed me too much. I tried to decimate ryan's relationship with mitch to force ryan to support lucas in a standoff. this lead directly to mitch freaking out on me. i keep blaming myself for this. i can not help it. mitch made it personal though. I couldnt tell him i was playing him. that would have been game suicide. so i had to play it off with him. but he wouldnt drop it. what makes me feel bad is his trust of me never seemed to waiver. His faith and trust in me was so strong that he fell apart when he heard what i had said to ryan. he was so blind he couldnt even consider the fact that i was working against him. In his head, he loved me. He trusted me. And he for some reason was convinced those feelings went both ways. He could not believe i would spontaeously turn on him. so in his head, someone was tampering with me. Now this is where i get a little pissed. because i am not some stupid twit. no one controls me ever. hell my parents tried to in my adolesence and it just exploded in their face. i am not a victim. I happen to be an exceptionally intelligent, confidant, self-assured, dominant women. I am strong. I am woman hear me roar and all that. I have never been and never will be the victim. I am though an actress. A mighty convincing one in social situations to boot. My entire life i have been able to get what i want. i have an inward debate whether i am good or evil. i suppose i could use my social powers for either. its an inward battle i have faced my entire life. like i said before, the biggest battle for me in this game is with myself. so i dont know if im the good guy in this situation or the bad guy. it really could go either way. all i know is mitch paniced when he felt my trust had waivered. he was so scared that i didnt trust him, he never stopped to question if he trusted me. he became blind in this situation and proceeded to then lose it. I felt uncomfortable when he wanted to talk on the phone. that crosses a line. i became increasingly uncomfortable the more he badgered me for information about who was trying to take him out. I honestly didnt know how to alleviate the tension between us. I just tried to keep things cool. but really i couldnt take his hounding because despite my please he refused to drop it. I really just wanted him gone at that point. The best way i could see of accomplishing that goal was winning that immunity challenge and then making sure the guys knew what had happened between mitch and i and pretty much beg them to vote him out for my own sanity. I think the situation was blown out of proportion at first but i think mitch dug his own grave in the end. taylor told me that he called me a "backstabbing bitch" but later mikey tells me that even up until his last day here he was harrassing everyone who would listen, convinced that he was the one who saved me and that the girls had brainwashed me against him. clueless till the end. I think this situation is unfortunate. and i really wish things hadnt happened how they did. i wish i could make this all go away. but alas here i am in the middle of drama and its only day 6. Eeeeeek! This situation definatly let me know who my friends out here are though. I found i have a lot of them. Mikey by far showed his devotion to me here. He is so protective of me and i just love him for it. Gracie was my shoulder to cry on. Kyle, Taylor, Steve, Jamie, and ellie were all great. I really couldnt believe how great everyone was about this. Ryan and Stephanie not so much. Ryan is who made this so miserable for me by goin to mitch in the first place and steph doesnt even believe me bout all this. SCREW THEM! luckily enough i have enough friends out here that those two are excess baggage and well on their way out of here. so here i am rambling again without saying much at all. for me it just helps to get all my thoughts out, then i dont have to think them anymore. all i can say is i am so relieved that mitch is now gone. i feel like i am now free to play this game. so GAME ON!
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 25, 2005 1:13:38 GMT -5
Wow ok i hadnt realized its been so long since i sat down to reflect on the goin ons round these parts. So Stephanie went bye bye. Twas unanimous and then days later we find out She is really a He and a bad he at that. Naughty naughty lil boy! Oh well i personally found the whole situation entertaining and since we had already booted the transvestite it didnt really effect this game at all. I knew no WOMAN would NOT know who Matt Damon is. Steph's act was purdy easy to see thru. I got the feeling though that the Steph boot was a setup. The propaganda campaign really out did themselves on that one. Gracie is the one that told me that Ashlee and Steph were targeting her and I. Well i know her and Ash have some bad blood from past games so i never knew if i could really trust this info. I have a feeling Beth was trying to keep me loyal by dumping the teeny bopper. Or maybe perhaps it is how beth said and it was the other way around. Either way I dont quit feel Beth is being totally straight with me. I investigated by asking her where she got that intel and she said Kyle. That seemed highly unlikely a suspect to me and after checking with him my suspicians were hightened. So what do I do with this information? Absofuckenlutely nothing. I sit on it is what I do. Even if Beth has felt the need to lie to me somewhat in this game, I still know she wants me here which is good enough for me. The one benefit of me playing as me is i have nothing to hide. But the longer I am in this game the more dirt i have on others that will keep them wanting me controlled and quiet. They could try to protect themselves by getting rid of me but ultimately that would lead to their own demise. So they will keep me here, as long as i keep my yap shut. Amazingly enough, I am fully prepared to do so. Don't tell my mother or father that though. They may come to expect that in the future and that is just not ever gonna happen. So I now have this final 3 deal with Jamie and Mikey. I believe I am the only one privy to their brewing romance. And again, I keep my mouth shut, they keep me here. Its a sweet deal. Because even if it falls apart, there are two heads that will roll before mine ever touches the floor. I can see why those two are drawn together though. Jamie plays this game very similiarly to Mikey. She likes to hold power and she likes to control things just like Mikey. Which brings me to the latest boot, Ashlee. Her ousting was setup along with the Steph boot. It was a double whammy campaign to have two easy boots lined up on the girls side. She could have saved herself this round though. I really thought that the last IC was ours to lose. I whole heartedly thought us girls were gonna kick some butt. And dear lil Ashlee never showed up till it was MUCH too late. Everyone on the team was there, waiting, and ready and it just killed us. None of us wanted to lose that challenge and it seemed dear lil Ashlee's fate was sealed from that moment on. I didnt want to lie to her. I said to her straight out she didnt have a chance. But that girl clawed and scratched and fought till the very end. Which I respect. Problem was she didnt do a very good job of it and really there wasn't anything she could have done anyways. Sure, I could have gotten Ellie and Gracie and we could have backed Ashlee on that vote. But neither Gracie or I felt particularly inclined to get off our cozy thrones to help her. Gracie and I have it good right now and we know it. I also got a bit peeved by her approach. She went for the guilt angle. Now I am jewish and guilt works on me tremendously but if you push it too far, I, like my father, only come to resent the person imposing the guilt. She wanted me to feel like I owed her after she stuck herself out to save me the first vote. And Jamie likes to tell me Ashlee only did that because Jamie had TOLD her to. Mitch also felt me being saved was his doing. And I am sure Gracie and Mikey feel they played a big part too. Well thats all well and nice that all these people are sooo proud of themselves for helping poor lil helpless me out of a jam and in turn think i owe them but i would like to declare here and now that i owe NO ONE ANYTHING! The only reason that Jenne is still in this game is because of Jenne. I would like some credit where credit is due. I have not been sitting on my ass here ok? The fact that so many people claim to be the ones that saved me shows how well I have played this game. How many players have so many other castaways going out of their way to help them? This is not all a coincedance; it goes to show I am playing this game and I am playing it well. I am not cocky and I do not think I am the winner of survivor holidays but I am here still for a reason and that reason is ME! I dont mean to go off so much but with this Ashlee boot it brought up a lot of these feelings. Ashlee really tore into me real good and now i resent her for it. I have no history with that girl. I met her when she played in Socotra and I helped run the game. We talked a few times during the game briefly and never again after the show. So for her to come to me like we are such good friends wasn't even believable. If we had an established relationship prior to this game perhaps her ploy would have had some affect but because she was basing it on pretty much nothing, her arguement carried little weight with me. Yes she didnt vote for me in the first vote. But she didnt stick her neck out to save me either. She went with the majority to keep someone she thought would be a good ally down the road. She wasnt doing it to help me; she did it to help herself. And after that she only talked to me when we were heading to Tribal Councils. So Ashlee left after yet another unanimous vote. And of course she didnt go quietly. "Thanks Beth." Subtle and powerful. I do not blaim her one iota for that, i would have done something immature and petty like that had it been me voted out. I am just very thankful she didnt try to drag me in the mud on her way out. But poor Beth. I am curious to see how that lil statement will play out in the next few days. So how are things on the girls tribe? Well we have Jamie who thinks she is running things. We have Gracie who is really running things. We have me who is likeable and agreeable. We have Annette who Jamie wants to drag to the final 5. And then there is Kelley, the supposed 5th member of the girls alliance, and way on the outside of things is Ellie. Ellie and I have had a solid relationship since the beginning so I am hoping that Kelley goes next and Ellie can slide by till a switch or merge. Crossing my fingers on that. So the guys side i dont even know about anymore. They never go to TC so they don't have solid alliances yet. Time will tell on that...
So before I take off lets review. 1) Steph was a man aint that funny?!! 2) Beth is feeding me stories to keep my loyal but I am ok with it for now 3)Jamie and Mikey are perfect for one another based solely on their approach to the game of survivor 4)Ashlee went out in a blaze of glory dropping the B(eth)-bomb 5) I am floating along like flotsom and jetsom and hoping no one notices : )
Night Ya'll!
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Jan 30, 2005 16:23:00 GMT -5
Ok absolutely nothing to report on the girl’s side. Thankfully the dudes have flubbed up the last two challenges giving us some respite. As far as I know everything still stands the same. Next challenge loss on our parts leads to Kellie or Ellie’s ousting. Hopefully Kellie’s . Tribe Cupid works together exceptionally. Our losses tend to rest on one person’s shoulders and every time a competition is a true team effort, we school dem boys. We have great team spirit and unity and it feels good to be on a tribe that works so well together. So onto some boy comments... Poor lil Steven got his pink slip and again I had a small hand in it. I need to keep my lil hands out of the mess but it never seems to work out that way. So Ryan, ever the clever one, came to a few girls and asked us for our wise council. You see dem boyz were torn between lil Steven and Tony, their two least actives, for their boot. Ryan’s brilliant scheme was to vote out the one with the least ties to the women. I am hearing that Ryan and Rami want to keep this a man vs. woman thing once we hit merge. *giggles* GOODLUCK RYAN! Ryan let me introduce you to Bubbles and Buttercup, as long as dem girls sit firmly on MY chest, THIS game will never stay men vs. women. Sadly for men their brains seem to shut off around us ladies and only their much less logical members are telling them what to do. So bad news for you Ryan is us ladies aint goin nowhere. So fuck off piss ant! Fucking teenagers! I am sorry but Ryan must think I am a moron. We have not spoken since before Mitch was voted off and now he comes to me trying to ask me for advice? Even without Mikey and Taylor clueing me in I would have seen through that bogus act. So I played along as well as I could have with keeping a straight face and told him I thought he should vote off Tony cause we had never spoken. So Ryan then led the charge to vote out lil Steven. Are all men as easy to control and manipulate? Let’s hope so! Can any one tell Ryan is on Jenne’s shit list and has been for some time? Moving on… Big Steve really laid it out a couple days ago. He seemed to have a lot of pent up tension with the guys and is ready to leap into the girl’s awaiting arms first chance he gets. Oh yah and he likes Kyle and wants him to join. LMAO. Well Kyle comes boo hooing to me after the guy’s latest challenge loss all sad cause all the guys are his homies and he doesn’t want to vote any of em off. Well Steven I think that answers YOUR question. Kyle is lodged in with the guys and wants me along for the ride. Kyle um, very tempting offer to be the only lady with all guys but unlike with a penis, my vagina never controls my brain. So thanks, but no thanks. I haven’t ruled Kyle out as a potential ally but it will happen on my terms, not his. Taylor and I have been talking more lately. That boy wanted a switch so bad and he didn’t seem to care who knew it. It was cute how nervous he was and that he wanted to pick the same number as me. And he kept shaking and needing me to hold his hand. Adoreeable I tell you. Part of the reason I originally fell for Taylor was how dorky and cute he was. He can even be sweet too but that doesn’t seem to come out too much. Like I said we have a VERY long, weird history but I do love Taylor, very much. He has been one of the most loyal and true albeit not the most upfront or honest friend I have ever had. He had trouble sleeping when he feared I would never speak to him again so it really shows that he cares about me. I am still ticked off he chose to lie to me for 2 yrs but I am getting over it. I think he really wants this game to be the chance for us that Tonga never could be. It is in every sense of the phase our chance to start over. I loved the Family Feud challenge. It was a blast. I was trying to stay prepared for anything before the challenge as everyone feared a twist but I was never convinced it was a switch. Felt like it was a scare tactic. When I picked number one I felt like it put me in some form of leadership role which it did. Not that it really would have mattered, but I was relieved to at least win the challenge I was supposedly leading. So I happen to be thrilled at the moment. I have reached my 4 goals already. #1 Do not get voted off first #2 Make it past a second TC (never have before) #3 Make it past episode 4 (never have before) #4 Get 12th place or better!!! (never have before) At this point 1/3 of who we started with are gone. 3 boys and 3 girls. And now there are only 12 of us left. I am in awe of the fact that I am still standing and am hoping I can stretch this out even further. At this point I may have to start adding more goals cause I have already reached all of my previous ones. : ) I may be the happiest person here at the moment cause I don’t care when I get voted off now. I am just happy to have come this far. So I am soo up for this ride and ready to see what comes next.
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 4, 2005 1:37:22 GMT -5
MERGE BABY MERGE!!! Oh my goodness! I am still here! YAHOOOOOOO! This is where this game is gonna get interesting….and complicated. Let us review my alliances:
There is the girl’s alliance, established as Jamie, myself, Gracie, Annette, and Kellie with the hopes of pulling in Ellie as the sixth vote needed to vote out a guy.
There is the final 6 with Jamie, myself, Gracie, Annette, Lucas, and Taylor with a f3 deal built in with Lucas and Jamie.
Then of course there is the final 5 deal with myself, Gracie, Lucas, Kyle, and Taylor with a f3 deal built in with Taylor and Kyle.
And of course F2 deals with Taylor and Gracie.
Have I put myself in a sticky situation? Hell yes! But isn’t that what makes this fun? So unless I have forgotten some, those are the deals I have made. So what am I really thinking? Well I have been very clear that Ryan and Kellie are on my shit list and pretty much always have been. So top priority is dumping those two first. Then I am left with all allies! *shrugs* Not a bad spot to be in! Really the next four boots I don’t care which order between Ellie, Kyle, Annette, and Steve. I like all four of them and really will just see how things go rather than figure it out now. That leaves me with the ideal final 5 of myself, Gracie, Taylor, Jamie, and Lucas. At this point I would have a tuff choice. Because I could honor my deal with Jamie and Lucas, killing my chances at winning or I could grab Gracie and Taylor, both final 2 partners, and vote out Jamie. That would be shady but the only way I could win. Mikey would be mad but if I want to win that is the way I would have to go. Then I think I would have a smooth ride into the final 2 *crosses fingers*. Ideally I would face Mikey or Taylor in the final 2 because I know I would beat either one but I would be okay facing Gracie as well. I adore all three of them so much that even if I lost or didn’t make the f2 I would be happy if one of them did. Of course there is a long road ahead between now and then and immunities which factor in but that is my long-term IDEAL plan but I realize a lot of things could go wrong. In survivor, nothing ever goes to plan and I am well aware of this. So again, I am trying to remain fluid and changeable. Adjusting when I have to and praying people don’t start comparing stories. I have a great thing going right now and if I can keep it up I will be impressed! Any way it goes though I am just so excited to have made the merge and am anxious to finish this game out!!!
MERGE!!! WHOOOOOHOOOO!!!
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 4, 2005 22:26:20 GMT -5
Notes on Jury: Ok well we could be facing a 9 member jury *scowls* or a traditional 7 member jury ƒº. Now the people sitting in loser¡¦s lodge are there for a reason. I wanted them all there. Lisa, Steph, Ashlee- I wanted them all gone and contributed to their exits. Mitch, Lil Steven, Tony- I wanted them all gone and contributed to their ousting. Rami was the first vote where the person I wanted gone was not voted out. Why did this happen? Kyle. But I will discuss that later cause really Rami going just gave me the chance to vote Ryan out myself! I am hoping for a 7 person jury because it gives me precisely 2 boots to get rid of the last two people left who I know would not vote for me in the f2. Kellie and Ryan. If it is a 9 member jury then c¡¦est la vie but if I can knock out those two pre-jury then it is all the better. Although it makes it tricky being aligned in some way to everyone else that is left in this game it also increases the likelihood of them voting for me in the end. Likeability goes a long way, as does friendship. The key is going to be voting all these people out and having them still like me enough to give me their vote at the end. I *think* I can do it. The other upside to having a final 9 of all allies is that even if I am voted out, I will be happy with whoever the f2 end up to be. That is always a plus. Cause if it aint me in the hot seat, then I want two people I like and respect to have the honor. Notes to Players Left in the Game (what I can¡¦t say to these people ¡§in¡¨ game): Ryan: Ryan has really not done anything wrong except not include me in any of his alliances or long term plans. If someone does not feel like they need me, then really I have no use for them. This was established long ago between us and I always hoped secretly that I would have the opportunity to write his name down. So Ryan, I am glad you made the merge, but you should know that you never should have rejected me as an ally. Cause it cost you this game ƒº I am also praying that you do not somehow end up a jury member because I know you are one vote I will never see. So Ryan, I thank you for playing my nemesis and absorbing all my negative emotions and nastiness because all in all having you helped me play a cleaner, tighter game. Nice having a scapegoat to throw all your angst and wrath on. Kellie: The one mistake you made was voting for me at the first Tribal Council. You knew Lisa was going and you should have stuck with the pack. Don¡¦t you know the black sheep in the crowd always gets spotted first by the wolf? Choosing to take a stand against the whole tribe was a no no. Writing down J-E-N-N-E at any TC besides the final one is unacceptable in my book. Like with Ryan, I pray that you do not make the jury because I know you would never vote for me to win. Steve: Awww Steve! This guy has had a rough time out here. He has been very upfront with me lately in abandoning the guys and teaming with the ladies. I am hoping to bring him along as far as possible. I haven¡¦t made him any promises but I appreciate his forthrightness with me and he has always been good to me. I am also hoping that I am able to vote Steve out without him hating me for it. Not just for his vote but also for his friendship. I hope Steve has a great life and again I feel similarly with him as I do with Ellie. I think he is a great kid and I really hate that I have had to hold a lot back in my relationship with him. Steve, if I manage not to hurt you when I vote you off, I hope that you want to continue our friendship because I have a lot of respect for you and feel like we can learn a lot from one another. Ellie: I like Ellie a whole helluv a lot. Have ever since I met her. But she has simply not been playing this game whole-heartedly. I would love to take her further in this game but really her use to me lays mainly in her vote at the end. I want nothing but good things for her in life and I hope we can continue a friendship because I like seeing young women with their heads screwed on straight. She has a lot going for her! I am going to be miserable when I have to vote Ellie off. Ellie I apologize RIGHT NOW for not ever being completely upfront with you. I never wanted to be dishonest but I was always playing this game to get myself to the end. But you rock! Annette: Annette is someone who because I am not as connected to as others I feel is disposable. We have voted together at every single TC so far and I hope this trend continues Again, we aren¡¦t as tight as I am with others and although she has been a great ally her greatest service to me will be in her vote at the end. I really like her and I know when the time comes to vote her off it will be hard. Kyle: Gosh Kyle! Kyle, you are awesome. I have had such a wonderful time getting to know you and of course flirting with you. What can I say there is something sexy about a kinky virgin ! I HATE what I have and will do to you in this game. I hate that I have hid stuff from you all game; I hate that I will have to vote you off and break my word with you. I HOPE that you can forgive me for what I did and will do in this game and will be my friend after this game is over. Our friendship was never something I had to fake and I was always sincere and as honest as I could be without blowing my game. Honesty is very important to me and I really tried to give you the respect you deserved while also protecting my true alliances. I can tell you don¡¦t want Lucas around much and Jamie is your #1 enemy; these are two people I need here. So you have recently been bumped down a few notches since this new information came to light. Also your tie to Ryan did not help. You weren¡¦t allowed to accrue your own pawns. That was never a part of the deal! Affiliation with the enemy never bodes well so at least you made it slightly easier on me to vote you off eventually¡Kcause hell Kyle I needed SOMEthing to alleviate the guilt cause I just dig you dude. Please forgive me for everything and be my friend! Jamie: Girlfriend, you make my Mikey bears happy and that is literally the only thing you had to do to get me to like you. I adore Mikey to high heavens and fully recommend him as a keeper! I know it sucks that he isn¡¦t exactly who you think he is and that we hid the fact that we were already friends. I really hope you understand why we kept it a secret all this time and forgive me and continue our friendship when this is all over but more importantly I hope it doesn¡¦t affect your relationship with Mikey. Because it¡¦s not worth losing such an incredible man over I assure you. His feelings are sincere and he would treat you right! You and I have been together from the first vote on. I like that you like to lead things and take charge. I like leading subtly so it was great having you as the shield. You are a great player and a fabulous ally. I hope we vote together every time till the final 5. I know I made that final 3 deal with you but you never say no when offered deals, its just rule of thumb out here. But I am not gonna just sit and let you and Mikey walk away with the game. I am here to play too and I might as well go for the gold while here. Final 5 is the best spot to split the two of you up so that is the plan. It¡¦s my only chance to win really so it sucks to break a deal with you and again I hope you can forgive me in the end but I know you won¡¦t harbor ill will. I can not wait to meet you outside of this game so I can be completely honest with you cause I am sick of having to keep up an act. I have a lot of respect for you and enjoy your company so thank you for playing this game by my side. Your friendship and loyalty has meant a lot to me so thank you for being here.
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 4, 2005 22:26:34 GMT -5
Gracie: LOVE HER! The only reason I do not want to face Beth in the f2 is because our strategies are so similar and she has ties to all the same people I do, I am not guaranteed the win. We have played this game side by side the whole way through and I do not plan on breaking that. We see this game the same way, we play this game the same way, and we think about this game the same way. Our similarities have made our partnership smooth and flawless. I think we work together quite well! I truly feel that this game, up until this point at least, has been run by Beth and myself. I doubt anyone ever noticed though. I just love Beth and would be honored to sit next to her in the f2 I just would rather avoid that position cause she could beat me and I say that with the utmost respect ƒº. It has been my absolute pleasure playing Survivor with Beth and I know she is a HUGE part of my success in this game. Luv yah Beffy! :* Mikey: Mikey I love you. You have been a true friend for a very long time. But you need to know that you never would have made the merge without my help. I want you around all the way till the f4 and would be thrilled to sit next to you in the f2 if that is possible. It sucks that I want to vote out your girlfriend but I have not worked as hard as I have to play this game to hand over the final 2 at the very end. I just can not bear to let myself do it. I was always sincere when I talked to you about the idea but once the merge hit I just was not gonna accept third place complacently. I need to split you and Jamie up in order to win. It is just a fact. I don¡¦t want to hurt you or lie to you or make you question my love for you ever¡Kbut this is a game and you of all people should know that. I really have worked my butt off out here, partly in protecting you, and I think I am a deserving winner. I guess the big change came when I had to lie to cover up your lie. You have holes in your game Mikey; I have seen you play enough to know how you do it. You are emotional and a hothead and try to be a puppet master but that will always land you in loser¡¦s lodge, unless of course there is a sweet Jenne angel on your side manipulating enough boys to keep you safe. But I do not enjoy lying to people nor do I enjoy toying with them. Yes I have done both things in this game but I derive zero pleasure from it. The fact that you lie so easily bothers me when you drag my name into the lie. Because I have been very careful with what I have said to people here and your lies just cause my game to tangle. So when your game began to interfere with my game that is when I decided not to hand over this game to you. This is my game to lose and I am gonna play this game to the best of my ability and hope it lands me in the final 2. I know our friendship is stronger than a game and that you may be pissed but you will forgive me, otherwise I would never risk our friendship to win a game. But this is a game and I am playing the game to win so there are moves I plan on making that you won¡¦t like. I am sorry for that. But I love you! Taylor: Taylor you are the only alliance I ever made in this game. Every single other alliance that I find myself in, and there are many , others approached me. I never said no to a single alliance offer in this game- that would have been dumb. But you are the one person I did make an alliance with and I hope you realize that means something. This game has saved our friendship and that is an amazing thing. I know you were probably wary of me at first but I hope you have come to realize that I have always been working to get you further in this game so that I could sit next to in the final two. I will be happy sitting in the final 2 with anyone but you are the one I WANT to sit next to. You were my friend in Tonga and you voted me out but I forgave you a long time ago for that. This is how it should be, you and I, side by side, holding hands at the final tribal council duking it out for votes! To be frank, I think I will cream you in a jury vote but that is not the only reason I wanted you next to me. I love you Taylor and I am glad that we are still friends. I want you to know that I understand why you lied to me for two years and that I have forgiven you completely for it. I adore you and am hoping so badly that we end up at the end together!
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 11, 2005 19:53:01 GMT -5
Yowser! It has been a busy week! Sadly I was never able to enjoy voting Ryan off and it sucked I was not able to take any joy in it because it should have been a party afterwards. Immediately following the tribal council Ellie comes to me and tells me that Ryan had warned her of an alliance between myself, Gracie, Lucas, Taylor, and Kyle. He also told her there was a leak. Well it was pretty obvious that Ryan did not pull those names out of a hat randomly and indeed there was a leak. And it was also obvious that the leak was in fact Kyle. There is not a shred of doubt in my head that Kyle for some reason told Ryan. Maybe to alleviate his guilt when voting him off, Kyle probably told Ryan to explain why it was he was voting off his good “buddy”. Whatever his reason, you can understand why Lucas, Gracie, me, and Taylor would be pissed off! I mean what kinda dumb move is that? So I had to do some damage control with Ellie and everyone was ready to send Kyle down the river with out a life preserver. It was an emotional response to dump Kyle at that point but we were all furious and then of course Jamie had a tantrum over being excluded from our conversations. * sighs * so to keep Jamie on board and to satisfy all of our mounting anger towards Kyle, we all agreed to vote Kyle out. Well by the next day Gracie, me, and Taylor had come to our senses and knew that was not the right move to make. Sure we were pissed, but the situation had been handled and Kyle had not blown our cover to hurt us….he did it because he was dumb. Well dumb I can forgive because Kyle is a good ally…period. And we all know that I wanted Kellie gone next anyways. So I tried to work it to get the target back on Kelley. That is where we hit a roadblock. Mikey basically told me that the vote could not be Kelley with out Jamie having a serious tantrum. He was hell bent on taking Kyle out. Now I understand why he wanted Kyle gone. #1 He felt Kyle was gunning for him….true. #2 Jamie wanted Kyle gone in a baaaaaad way. Now its fine Mikey wants to make Jamie happy but really it was at that point that he showed he cared more about keeping her happy then he did about doing what was best for our group of four. It was the first time Jamie was interfering with what I wanted. I wanted Kelley gone, but Jamie became a bigger problem because as long as she was here, I would not be free to do what I wanted. So as always Gracie and I came to same conclusion that Jamie needed to go. We were sick of her tantrums, we were sick of her thinking she ran things, and mostly we were sick of Mikey doing stuff to help her and not us. The clincher was in regard to the immunity challenge. I guess Jamie REALLY wanted it but no one told me that. It was shopping….I was going to win no matter what. When I want something, I always get it! Just how my life goes. And when it comes to shopping, I was not going to be beat. I knew I was perfectly safe and did not need to win but it was a pride thing. I hear Mikey threatened Taylor to let Jamie win and that was just not an ok thing for him to do. And after the challenge, rather then Jamie congratulating me and being happy her ally won, she threw another tantrum. Not only was she pissed she lost, she was pissed off at me for beating her. Poor sport? But that wasn’t even the end of it. She lied! She ran her mouth off to Taylor and Gracie about how I had lied to her about how I was doing in the challenge. Luckily for me it was those two she said it to cause they both told me right away. I never told Jamie how I was doing in that challenge. I wanted to win so I kept my mouth shut. But I will tell you this, someone who lies claiming you lied, is NOT your ally. So Jamie brought it on herself with her emotional outbursts and outright lies. Maybe we will be able to be friends, maybe not, but strategically is was the best move we could have made. Sure, Kelley is still here, but not for long so I will just have to suck it up that I will be facing her in the jury. Jamie would have been a pain to deal with anyways so at least Kelley will be less pissy. I had a talk with Mikey the night before which went well. I basically got his permission to take Jamie out so it alleviated the guilt I was feeling in booting his woman. He didn’t want to know, and he was totally in the dark. I know he is really unhappy about it and disappointed in me most likely but I am not playing this game for him to win and he knows that. So currently things are looking good. Final 9 so from here on out I am either in the f2 or sitting on the jury. Not bad at all. Gracie and I have become inseparable allies and having her with me in this has made it WAY more fun. We see things the same way and it is a blast playing this game by her side. We will be a tough force to beat in this game. If anyone is able to separate us and keep us from the final two then they deserve to win because her and I have had a pretty tight reign on the course of this game. I am not really too focused on the boot order because as long as the four of us make it to the end I think I am golden and there is little time left for anyone to be able to mount a counter-offensive. By the time anyone figures it out…it will be WAY too late. So hopefully I have my way and Kelley will go next. Then in no particular order Annette, Steve, Ellie, and Kyle will go leaving me at the end with Mikey, Taylor, Beth, and myself. Mikey thinks Beth will go, the rest of us think Mikey will go. Depending on immunity it will be either Mikey or Taylor going. I do not think the guys have any clue how close Beth and I are and that works for us here. I end up in a f3 with any two of those 3 people and I make the final 2. I am pretty positive Mikey, Taylor, and Beth would all chose me in the end. If I can make the final 2 I think I can win it. I have a better chance against one of the guys but I want the challenge of going against Beth. We played this game as a unit and I think we both deserve it at the end. I want to win but if I lose to Beth I will be very proud of her! Part of me is very cocky thinking we own this game and no one can stop us but another part of me does not want to take anything for granted here. We cannot afford to make mistakes and can never take for granted our position. We have worked hard and we will have to continue to do so to keep everyone feeling happy, safe, and confidant that they are in a solid position in the game. We are in the best position of anyone, but many things could go wrong. So I am looking forward to this end game and expecting ANYthing to happen but I am still confidant that I could win this one!
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 21, 2005 1:36:24 GMT -5
It feels like ions since I last sat down and poured out my thoughts. A lot has happened I guess you could say. I finally got my way and voted Kelley out. It was bittersweet. There were 6 votes for Kelley, two votes for Kyle, and one vote for Lucas. Unexplained votes tend to worry me, so I immediately set about sleuthing an answer. Ellie admitted to me quickly that she had voted for Kyle and implied Kelley had as well and Annette had voted for Lucas. Annette later confirmed with Gracie that she had indeed voted for Lucas. Things were looking good at that point. 8 people left, all my allies, and only one vote to get through until my core four made it to majority. Lucas and Kyle crack me up because both feared the other would force a tie. I knew neither would do that because they both feel so safe. That is, they weren¡¦t in a position that would warrant taking a risk to jeopardize a sure thing. I try to analyze situations from each person¡¦s standpoint. I have all game. I am hyper aware that we started this game with 18 people which each had their own path in this game. If you ever fail to take account of a person, it¡¦ll bite yah. So really I have been playing this game for myself, but at every step I stop to consider where everyone stands. I have held a solid grasp of the dynamics of this game from early on. I was an information gatherer of sorts. I have lied in this game but not much. My main weapon has been the truth. People screw up in this game, A LOT. I happen to be the one that finds the mistake and exploits it for their ousting. I have managed to get away with a lot in this game. As I use the truth to back up my desired boot with the necessary votes. That¡¦s why Kelley¡¦s vote threw me slightly because I did not control all the votes. Ellie and Annette went rogue on me. ƒº I was not upset with either in fact I have more respect for them for not always doing what I want. Annette lied to me though. She may have admitted she voted for Lucas to Gracie but to me she lied. And because I tend to know the truth out here, I caught her! I do not even understand why she felt the need to lie to me about it but frankly I do not care. I wanted Annette gone next. After the next vote, the four would have majority, and the only threat that would remain would be someone winning immunity. The biggest immunity threats in this game are Lucas and Gracie. But they both are not going anywhere. After the two of them it¡¦s Annette. So she was the logical next boot. And it was all set! Lucas, Kyle, Taylor, Me, Gracie, and even Steve was on board with it! But things always change! Steve has been a busy busy boy out here. He has been making nicey nice with almost everyone. He actually had Lucas believing Steve was in his pocket. What a joke! Steve has been shit-talking Lucas all game. Steve had Kyle, he had Lucas, he had me, Gracie, and Ellie. Who knows where his true alliance lay. Once we all started talking and comparing stories though things didn¡¦t look good for ole Stevo. Things got complicated in there. Gracie made the mistake of telling Ellie Steve would be easy to get out next which of course got back to Steve and next thing you know after I cleaned up the mess Steve is goin to Gracie for a final 2, me for a f3 and bringing Ellie in as the f4. I really like Steve but did he really think he could start playing this game on day 30? Frankly I was insulted! You work your ass off all game to control the boots and keep your allies safe and to balance everyone else¡¦s friendships and alliances to keep with a desirable boot order in addition to making sure everyone likes, trusts, and respects you and that each individual feels safe, secure, and important and some punk kid thinks he can just pity his way into a win? HELL NO! To be honest I did not want to vote Steve off. Annette should have gone and had I pushed hard enough she would have. For some stupid reason Lucas and Gracie got it in their heads that Steve was a bigger threat to us than Annette. WHATEVER! But I thought what the hell, I don¡¦t really care, why not throw em a bone. So I went with it. And it wasn¡¦t too bad a decision in the end. Annette found out, probably from Gracie, that Steve targeted her. *laughs* funny I thought I was the one who had. But no matter. Stevo got the credit and Annette of course threw the target back onto Steve. My alliance was safe and sound so really it was our call who we would back. I went along with the group, despite reservations, and assured Annette she had our support and we would back her up. This is the part that really just made me happy. Annette tried to pass her vote for Lucas onto Steve! Just made me laugh. Because my Intel has been so accurate this whole game people can not get away with this sort of lie and why she even felt the need to lie bout something so inconsequent ional I don¡¦t even know. But it doesn¡¦t make me want to keep her any longer that¡¦s for sure. What is great is I was even able to bring Ellie on board to boot Steve. I don¡¦t think anyone thought that was possible as they were tight. I just used my secret weapon though, one I doubt any survivor player had ever considered using before¡K.THE TRUTH. It¡¦s been my motto throughout this game and it has worked. Granted it is a Jenne manipulated truth but there is truth in there somewhere! ƒº I have been sincere and as upfront as possible, dropping pieces of information to the right person and the right time. I told Ellie Steve was voting for Annette and Annette found out and was voting for Steve. By the end of the conversation Ellie agreed to vote for Steve because she felt he had lied about her wanting Annette gone. It¡¦s amazing that we¡¦ve been able to keep people so tame this late in the game. Annette and Ellie think they are sitting pretty with majority with Gracie and me. Sadly Gracie and I won¡¦t be able to hold that cover for very much longer. This next vote will be a zinger. Either Annette or Gracie won immunity. If Annette won, Kyle will go. Which will preserve to some extent the illusion that the girls are in control. When really we know it¡¦s the core four. I do not like this option though. Because it would be hard to convince Ellie and Annette to vote off Kyle over Lucas who is the bigger immunity threat. If Gracie wins, Annette will go. This will not make things too pleasant with Ellie and she will have to realize she is sitting in the f6 with her and the 5 people Ryan told her were aligned. What is kinda funny is both Steve and Ellie were told by Ryan about the f5 alliance and neither of them stepped up to the plate to do battle. Steve fell victim and Ellie will shortly but I am very glad I have been able to put off that vote. I adore Ellie. I really truly do. She and Kyle are my two favorite new people I met in this game.
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 21, 2005 1:36:36 GMT -5
Status: Annette: Annette did not vote for Kelley which did not surprise me too much. What bugs me is that she is lying to me about it. I am in a supposed “Girl” alliance with her, Gracie, and Ellie but I think Annette feels as loyal to that group as I do. When we were able to get Annette to vote for Jamie, it was then I knew she had no real allegiance to anybody. Annette is good in challenges though. This threatens me. Because I know we are so solid and have the majority the only thing that could derail my plans is this woman going on an immunity spree. First chance I get, she goes! She is too good to keep around very much further. Hopefully she will be going on Monday. Kyle: I adore this man. He has made this game soooo much more enjoyable with his presence. I had to lie to him to cover for a lie Mikey told. And more recently I had to lie to him to cover for a stupid lie Taylor told him. I hate having to lie to cover up other people’s lies. Its all just sooo unnecessary. Honestly the further Kyle goes the happier I am, that is up until a f4 spot. If we can keep him until f5 though I would be very happy but choosing between him and Ellie is not a decision I can make. Someone else will have to make that call because I adore them both and am loathing the idea of voting off either. Kyle thinks he has a great thing going. Probably thinks he’s got this whole thing locked up. Ride us till the f4, boot Gracie, and then battle it out for the f2 probably taking Taylor as his partner if the choice is his. I wish we could all have our way here but sadly I must take some lessons from the queen of hearts on this one and demand that “ALL WAYS ARE MY WAYS” or else….”OFF WITH THEIR HEADS” that woman had such a way with people! So yah everyone’s got their plans but they are all of secondary importance next to my plan of winning! So Kyle you have to go, and I wont like it, you wont like it, but there yah go we shall deal with it. Ellie: My girl! You probably won’t see it this way but I have protected you this entire game. I knew you wouldn’t make it past the f5 or f6 but I always wanted you along for as long as I could take you. Mainly because the thought of voting you out just stinks. Things got a lil shady with you round the Kelley vote and you may have been keeping stuff from me, I definitely feel like I’m not getting the full story but really I think you have been pretty honest and upfront with me for most this game so you done right by me girl. And I hope you understand when I have to vote you off and still vote for me to win. I may have had ulterior plans but I always kept you safely out of harm’s way and made sure you were well-liked and unthreatening to everyone…I suppose you played a part in that too can’t take all the credit cause I am beginning to feel like a glory hog. My final four: If it should be that the four of us do in fact make it to the final 4 I will be stoked beyond belief. I truly feel safe with this group as I know that each of the 3 is closest to me over any of the others in a way that would make it much easier for them to vote off ANY of the other two over me. This is a good sign! I am counting on making it to the f3 and whoever winning choosing me to face in the f2. I consider the fact that I may be voted out. It is possible and I always go to tribal council expecting it. Do these people really want to hand me the win? Because these are not dumb people and have to realize that I would win a jury vote against any of them. Gracie has the best chance but really I think I will do very well in a final tribal council situation and will be able to prove both logically and emotionally why I am the winner of survivor holidays valentine’s day. Even if I am the scrooge of V-day. I can see the headlines now: “Valentine’s Scrooge takes the title of sole survivor.” Oh well time will tell on this. I could very easily land on the jury. But I really do want the opportunity to prove my worth to the jury. I want that chance to argue my case!
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Jenne
Jenne
<3 Peter Parker
Posts: 156
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Post by Jenne on Feb 25, 2005 0:23:16 GMT -5
The battle with myself came two a head last night but I¡¦ll backtrack before I dive into that. Kyle really pushed for a Lucas boot after Annette left, well before really. I told him I didn¡¦t feel comfortable with that but it did get in my head. I knew Taylor wanted to keep Kyle over Lucas and Gracie tends to do what I want to do. We discussed it at length and had agreed to vote Lucas out but only after Ellie had won immunity. After Annette left Ellie needed answers. She believed in me and blamed Gracie but I owned up to my part. Maybe not completely but I told her I had voted for Annette. I never wanted to hurt her, in fact I was always trying to protect her though I doubt she¡¦ll ever quite see it that way because I always knew I would have to vote her out eventually. So things were set, Lucas was going, yet my conscience was yelping the background. Last night Gracie opened her yap and told Ellie things she really should not have. I had told her I was planning on talking to Ellie as I had wanted to come clean with her at this point anyways. I have *hated* being deceptive with her and now that I feel *relatively* safe it was time to come clean with her. Well she and I finally talked and boy did we talk! For 3 or 4 hours Ellie and I talked. I came clean about a lot of things, she asked a lot of questions, and it was healing. I had no idea I could hurt her and it made me feel wretched. I don¡¦t know how Ellie feels about me now but I am hoping she forgives me for this game. So just after a tearful extended conversation with Ellie I finally had a long overdue conversation with Mikey. I am not sure if it was him or me or a lil of both but we had not been the same since Jamie had been voted out. My conscience would not allow me to vote him off, no with out talking to him straight out and trying to make right where we had gone off course. It was the most cathartic conversation of the game for me. I cried, at least twice, and found my heart again. I had become so one-sighted in this game, looking solely at the win. That¡¦s all over now. I lost myself, but now I am found. I had lost Mikey along the way, but I found him last night. I still want to win, but not at all costs. I have a lot of love for everyone one of the five players left in this game and am just overwhelmed with emotion at this point. I put off the hard choices because I never wanted to make them. Call me the queen of avoidance! I just stayed focused on getting my peeps to the end. Now I see the problem in that. Yes, no matter the winner, I will be happy. Yes, I like the people I am still in the game with, and enjoy my time with them. BUT now I have to vote them all out or lose. I have come to terms with losing. I still want to argue my case to the jury and I still want to win. But it will happen the right way or not at all. Ellie and Mikey broke me. The Jenne robot was dismantled and the real Jenne has returned. I may cry at every TC here on out, may still have to make some tough choices, I may be a sobbing, blubbery, snotty mess but here I am! Love me or hate me¡K.cause I feel the same about myself. Survivor is a tough experience. I tried to distance myself, keep my heart out of it. I *almost* did it; I almost made it all the way through without letting my emotions get the best of me. *throws hands up in the air* I give up! I¡¦m Jenne, how long could I fight my own nature? So maybe I lose the game now or at least make it harder to win it but oh well! Lose, win, it¡¦s all the same to me now. I am Jenne again; I can hug myself now and be proud of myself and how far I¡¦ve come. I still want to win, that hasn¡¦t changed, just the way I want to get there has changed. So even with all this, I still have to make tough decisions. I can not vote my Mikey bear off today. Gracie, bless her heart, can¡¦t either. Which means Kyle goes ƒ¼ I ADORE Kyle but this is how it goes. Kyle I am soooo sorry! Taylor may be upset but he¡¦s not here to talk to. Its better for him to stay by Kyle¡¦s side, I wish I didn¡¦t have to make this choice. Kyle will go tonight; I will be balling, and very upset. BUT it has to be done. So final 5: Me, Gracie, Mikey, Taylor, and Ellie. If Ellie is not immune, I will have to vote her off. Ellie, I suck! I am just sooo unbelievably sorry. If Ellie is immune, Mikey will go, and I will be sooo sorry. Anyone see a pattern here? Advice for all tender hearted loving people: DON¡¦T EVER PLAY THE GAME OF SURVIVOR!!! I mean it! I can be proud of myself if the core four makes the f4. I can still win this, through tears, guilt, and self-loathing. Kill or be killed? The impossible choice! This is a selfish game. As much as you play as a team, this game is always an individual competition. Only one person will win. So it¡¦s an impossible choice. Play for yourself or play for others? I dunno how you can make that choice. I have played this game selfishly and I know that. I still am. But it doesn¡¦t mean I have to be mean or nasty. I love these people, I just adore them. But I am not voting myself off. Others can do that if they chose. I apologize to the cast of this season for my inhumanity and I hope to be friends with all those willing when all is said and done. I want to know these people outside of the confines of this game. I want to make right with these guys and do the right thing. Ethics, integrity, honesty, honor are all things I value in myself. I need to find those qualities in myself once again and then NEVER play this game again! LOL, I can not do this to myself again. Retirement here I come!
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